Politics

<p>The Onion has been amazing for years, and they continue to turn out some of the funniest, smartest, and sharpest content on the web. Today we&#39;ve collected some of the more enjoyable headlines for you. Take a look. Click through to read the full articles. We hope you enjoy.</p><p>You have to subscribe to get new employees mailed to you each month.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Elon Musk Unveils New Clean Energy Luxury Car Pulled By 8 Tesla Employees <a href="https://t.co/uJOGZ3Fnnf">https://t.co/uJOGZ3Fnnf</a> <a href="https://t.co/WgzBMS7esz">pic.twitter.com/WgzBMS7esz</a></p>&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1392874322650353668?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 13, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><p>You can not trust animals. They have no moral code.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Shell Executives Accuse Oil-Covered Otter Of Playing It Up <a href="https://t.co/k4GiCYjfzB">https://t.co/k4GiCYjfzB</a> <a href="https://t.co/smUTwkhP1x">pic.twitter.com/smUTwkhP1x</a></p>&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1391887027990372354?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 10, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>God bless.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">‘God Bless Our Heroes!’ Written Where Tip Should Be <a href="https://t.co/kZkNXieM08">https://t.co/kZkNXieM08</a> <a href="https://t.co/qL2p8y43OI">pic.twitter.com/qL2p8y43OI</a></p>&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1393551759071715328?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 15, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><p>This has happened to us more times than we&#39;d like to admit.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Rock Looked Way Cooler Wet <a href="https://t.co/a1yMvgDbm5">https://t.co/a1yMvgDbm5</a> <a href="https://t.co/gKvcqXKZDn">pic.twitter.com/gKvcqXKZDn</a></p>&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1392112266519195662?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 11, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Ambien please. And Xanax.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Doctor Makes Half-Hearted Alternative Suggestions Before Handing Over Drugs <a href="https://t.co/SLqZnesubb">https://t.co/SLqZnesubb</a> <a href="https://t.co/xzyJBqjG5S">pic.twitter.com/xzyJBqjG5S</a></p>&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1392283438275776515?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 12, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><p>That&#39;s never coming down.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Family Photo With Ex-Boyfriend Still Prominently Displayed On Grandma’s Mantle <a href="https://t.co/Lb0jaDMxoX">https://t.co/Lb0jaDMxoX</a> <a href="https://t.co/C0ApT18jSk">pic.twitter.com/C0ApT18jSk</a></p>&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1392472190042484736?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 12, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>They&#39;re probably right.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Parents Can’t Believe How Bad Daughter Is At Being Raised By Them <a href="https://t.co/W5ewBJRBzz">https://t.co/W5ewBJRBzz</a> <a href="https://t.co/8o5sSe08X2">pic.twitter.com/8o5sSe08X2</a></p>&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1392528812118794246?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 12, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><p>We&#39;d love early retirement.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Long-Time Employee Will Always Be Remembered For Sticking Around Too Long <a href="https://t.co/WzWWoj7lSR">https://t.co/WzWWoj7lSR</a> <a href="https://t.co/Ew2yBjznTC">pic.twitter.com/Ew2yBjznTC</a></p>&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1392574089961816065?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 12, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>It&#39;s a dangerous game, but you have to play.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Man Figures He Has 2 More Bites Of Roommate’s Leftovers Before It Noticeable <a href="https://t.co/YzPNh7o95A">https://t.co/YzPNh7o95A</a> <a href="https://t.co/wTGvLj4UyK">pic.twitter.com/wTGvLj4UyK</a></p>&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1392634468708519939?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 13, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><p>Dinner at 5, drink 3 beers, pass out by 9:30. The math works.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Man Says ‘Fuck It,’ Eats Lunch At 10:58 A.M. <a href="https://t.co/qZlk7Pg7iH">https://t.co/qZlk7Pg7iH</a> <a href="https://t.co/kzTjqOMOm7">pic.twitter.com/kzTjqOMOm7</a></p>&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1392871766582833154?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 13, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Has anyone read it? Heard the ending is a bit disappointing.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Area Man Passionate Defender Of What He Imagines Constitution To Be <a href="https://t.co/QVTxyy5bma">https://t.co/QVTxyy5bma</a> <a href="https://t.co/Et3d3fbf69">pic.twitter.com/Et3d3fbf69</a></p>&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1393589537629220867?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 15, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

11 Onion Articles That You Should At Least Read The Headlines Of.

The Onion has been amazing for years, and they continue to turn out some of the funniest, smartest, and sharpest content on the web. Today we&#39;ve collected some of the more enjoyable headlines for you. Take a look. Click through to read the full articles. We hope you enjoy.You have to subscribe to get new employees mailed to you each month.Elon Musk Unveils New Clean Energy Luxury Car Pulled By 8 Tesla Employees https://t.co/uJOGZ3Fnnf pic.twitter.com/WgzBMS7esz&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) May 13, 2021 You can not trust animals. They have no moral code.Shell Executives Accuse Oil-Covered Otter Of Playing It Up https://t.co/k4GiCYjfzB pic.twitter.com/smUTwkhP1x&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) May 10, 2021 God bless.‘God Bless Our Heroes!’ Written Where Tip Should Be https://t.co/kZkNXieM08 pic.twitter.com/qL2p8y43OI&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) May 15, 2021 This has happened to us more times than we&#39;d like to admit.Rock Looked Way Cooler Wet https://t.co/a1yMvgDbm5 pic.twitter.com/gKvcqXKZDn&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) May 11, 2021 Ambien please. And Xanax.Doctor Makes Half-Hearted Alternative Suggestions Before Handing Over Drugs https://t.co/SLqZnesubb pic.twitter.com/xzyJBqjG5S&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) May 12, 2021 That&#39;s never coming down.Family Photo With Ex-Boyfriend Still Prominently Displayed On Grandma’s Mantle https://t.co/Lb0jaDMxoX pic.twitter.com/C0ApT18jSk&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) May 12, 2021 They&#39;re probably right.Parents Can’t Believe How Bad Daughter Is At Being Raised By Them https://t.co/W5ewBJRBzz pic.twitter.com/8o5sSe08X2&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) May 12, 2021 We&#39;d love early retirement.Long-Time Employee Will Always Be Remembered For Sticking Around Too Long https://t.co/WzWWoj7lSR pic.twitter.com/Ew2yBjznTC&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) May 12, 2021 It&#39;s a dangerous game, but you have to play.Man Figures He Has 2 More Bites Of Roommate’s Leftovers Before It Noticeable https://t.co/YzPNh7o95A pic.twitter.com/wTGvLj4UyK&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) May 13, 2021 Dinner at 5, drink 3 beers, pass out by 9:30. The math works.Man Says ‘Fuck It,’ Eats Lunch At 10:58 A.M. https://t.co/qZlk7Pg7iH pic.twitter.com/kzTjqOMOm7&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) May 13, 2021 Has anyone read it? Heard the ending is a bit disappointing.Area Man Passionate Defender Of What He Imagines Constitution To Be https://t.co/QVTxyy5bma pic.twitter.com/Et3d3fbf69&mdash; The Onion (@TheOnion) May 15, 2021 

The Onion has been amazing for years, and they continue to turn out some of the funniest, smartest, and sharpest content on the web. Today we&#39;ve collected some of the more enjoyable headlines for you. Take a look. Click through to read...