How the 'Hobby Lobby' decision paved the way for Satanists to save women's rights.

How the 'Hobby Lobby' decision paved the way for Satanists to save women's rights.
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When the Ten Commandments were put in an Oklahoma City courthouse, Satanists argued they deserved a Baphomet statue, as well. This is like that, except better. 

There's a good reason that you don't let religion trump the law of the land: there are a lot of religions, and every single one of them (except for the one you are a part of, of course) is crazy. Except, apparently, the Satanists. Yes, the Satanists, the people you might assume would be the craziest of them all, are our last, best hope to make women's health a science-based issue. 

The Satanic Temple hopes to use the 'Hobby Lobby' decision to exempt all women from so-called 'informed consent' laws which mandate that a woman be lectured to by a doctor in very pro-life terms before getting an abortion. The Satanists argue that their beliefs demand they be able to make decisions "regarding personal health…on the best scientific understanding of the world, regardless of the religious or political beliefs of others." In other words, it's against their religion to let others' religions into their decisions. They've gone so far as to draft a letter that women can present to health care providers, declaring themselves exempt from informed consent laws based on their religious beliefs.

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Hobby Lobby: where the portal to Hell was accidentally knit together by terrible legal reasoning and fluffy red yarn. 

'Hobby Lobby' famously stated that closely-held companies can choose not to cover their female employees' contraception and other reproductive health needs (as the law clearly says they must) by claiming it is against their religious beliefs and puts immortal corporate souls are in danger (for the record, their immortal corporate souls will cover Viagra until the day you die). In other words, 'Hobby Lobby' proved that the US legislature and scientific consensus are no match for belief, not least because the Supreme Court allowed Hobby Lobby to falsely testify in a court of law that contraceptives cause abortions.

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The main issue is that the language of these 'informed consent' materials are specifically designed with a pro-life agenda in mind. They use language designed to personify a fetus and employ a raft of other pro-life propaganda techniques, in particular questionable science linking abortion to various cancers and also "post-abortion syndrome," a mental condition that no professional mental or physical health association believes to exist. Satanists argue that their members, and any women who object to having their decisions subjected to others' religious beliefs, should be able to print out a letter exempting them from hearing any politically or religiously motivated lectures before making a health decision.

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The logo of the Satanic Temple's campaign. A damned good logo.

In other words, if the government cannot force Hobby Lobby and other "religious corporations" to cover women's health based on real recommendations from real doctors, why should Satanist women (and any women who want to take advantage of this brief window of sanity) be forced to obey the will of Christians? They are, you know, kind of opposed to each other.

If this seems like the end of the world to you because this is giving power to people who would impose their values on you by pretending to have access to a supernatural being...well, maybe the religious right shouldn't have spent the past few decades helping the corporate right turn our democracy into a joke by making corporations people, and even worse, religious people. Who would have thought that changing the entire nature of the fundamental building blocks of society would have unintended consequences?

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Hail (Political) Satan(ism)!

(by Johnny McNulty)

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