Obama breaks little girl's heart by not being Beyoncé.

Obama breaks little girl's heart by not being Beyoncé.
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"Does Beyoncé have drones, kid? No? Maybe you better pretend to be excited, then."
(via Getty Images)

Not being Beyoncé is a shortcoming that each and every one of us has to face in our lives—even the President of the United States of America. Barack Obama, 44th Commander-In-Chief and Leader of the Free World, visited an elementary school in Washington, D.C. to help the kids with a service project they were doing to commemorate 9/11. The first African-American president in history was excited to prepare backpacks full of donated toys and books for homeless children with a 6th grader named Madison, but she was less than thrilled. She explained that when she was told there would be a very special guest, she assumed it would be Beyoncé

"I really wanted it to be, but then I realized it was gonna be you," the overly-honest sixth grader told the President.

"I understand," replied the President, "Malia and Sasha would feel the same way." Malia and Sasha and everyone on Earth, bro.


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Madison tried to walk back her statement in order to avoid hurting the poor President's feelings any more by adding, "and that’s even better!" The President is a smart man, however, and wasn't buying it. “I appreciate you saying that in front of the press. I know it’s not really true," replied Obama, only to have the First Lady chime in to agree, saying "I'd rather see Beyoncé" right in her husband's face.

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Meanwhile, Beyoncé has yet to announce when she will let us elect her President.

God bless the United States of Beyoncé.

(by Johnny McNulty)

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