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Before blaming her son Track's domestic violence charges on Obama and PTSD earlier today, Sarah Palin endorsed Donald Trump for President in a baffling speech. At times, it was almost a rap, and at no point was it in standard English. In order to make this important work of political philosophy available to the vast majority of Americans who don't speak Palin, here's a translation of the most important parts of her endorsement rant.

1. Introduction

Thank you so much. It’s so great to be here in Iowa. We’re here just thawing out.