While Election Day is bound to bring relief with the end of the nasty campaigns, the aftermath is bound to be scary. Whether or not Trump wins, the events of November 8th could still bring about the apocalypse: a Trump loss could mean angry pandemonium, and a Trump win could mean happy riots like after a winning city after the Super Bowl.

It's going to be a long night. Here are some things you'll want to keep in your home for the end of days.

1. USB Hand Crank Charger

Emergency Power USB Hand Crank SOS Phone Charger Camping Backpack Survival Gear Cell Radio Light

As much as we'll pretend to be gritty survivalists, we're going to want to keep our phones charged. The revolution will be live-tweeted.

2. Glow Sticks

It's vital to have glowsticks for light, and even more vital to have them for a rave.

3. Bottled Water


Your body may be 60% water, but you'll also need some on the outside as well.

4. SpaghettiOs

You'll need nonperishable food to subsist on, and might as well have fun with it. SpaghettiOs will take you back to the simpler days when that painter who was also a president George W. Bush was the scariest man in town.

5. Personal Hygiene Kit


You gotta keep clean, especially if you throw that rave.

6. 5 Gallon Luggable Loo

You're going to need a place to put all those SpaghettiOs.

7. Door Security Bar

Stay safe by fortifying your doors so angry pro-Trump protestors or violently ecstatic celebrators can't get in. Warning: the extra metal will Make Doors Grate Again.


8. SONY Portable Radio

Keep tabs on the goings on the old fashioned way, without cable news picking their favorite facts or Anderson Cooper's baby blues distracting you from what's at stake.

9. Infinite Jest


Doomsday means downtime, and you're going to have a lot of time to kill As The World Burns. There's no better time than the apocalypse to read the 1104-paged novel you've said you've read since college.

10. Sleeping Bag

His Majesty Sir President Trump once said "Why can't we use nuclear weapons?" three times in a single briefing, and his desire to use nuclear weapons has been one of the only thing he's been consistent about. Under the Trump administration, it would be best to stay safe sleeping in the basement in event of World War III.