New meaning to "lame duck."

President Obama took a break from such lighthearted activities as replacing our Defense Secretary on short notice with some dude named Ash (presumably to address the growing Pokemon threat) to engage in the more solemn duty of the National Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony. In addition to high-fiving Santa, the ancient ritual calls for the President to do the traditional dance of lame dads that dates back to the days of Saturnalia, when pagan dads would embarrass their kids to appease the god of lame jokes.