Trick or treating, also known as America's longest running entitlement program, is bleeding hard working candy buyers dry. We must wean our country's pretend princesses and Spider-men off of their addiction to subsidized chocolate. After all, would Ayn Rand support my hard work being used to pay for your sugar high? The free ride ends here. Now if you'll excuse us, we have to get some sleep as we expect to spend most of tomorrow washing the eggs off our home. 

Sources: First Capital Pictures