Sean Spicer's job as White House press secretary is to stand up at a podium to lie and defend President Donald Trump every day, and has already served up some all-time classics like "Not even Hitler gassed his own people" and "This was the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration, period."
As the dude responsible for translating Trump's confusing words and even more confusing deeds to the public, he has committed to defending the indefensible and to live by the Trumpian maxim of "Never admit to making a mistake." Spicey's latest, greatest lie brings us back to the most powerful typo in the world, which just might not be a typo after all.
Spicer went on the record, at the White House, to declare that Trump's nonsensical viral tweet that confused the world and stayed up for hours was not actually a mistake.
He hath declared "covfefe" to be a real thing.
Asked about Covfefegate, Spicer says that "The president and a small group of people know exactly what he meant."
Listen to the tone. While Spicey was too afraid to be on camera, he's stone cold serious about the legitimacy of a "covfefe." Still no word about the pronunciation though.
This would be such an easy one to recover from, man. Just say that "covfefe" was meant to be "coverage" and there was a serious of mistakes/lack of oversight by the staff to no fault of Mr. Trump or whatever.
But no, Spicer decided to declare that "covfefe" was some kind of SECRET CODE, and "a small group of people" know what it means, making it way effing worse that the president would just tweet it out into the open and then challenge the world to solve the riddle.
If "covfefe" is indeed a real thing, then based on Trump's track record, it's probably Israeli spies' code name for ISIS or another piece of highly classified intelligence.
I repeat: it's the White House's official position that covfefe is indeed a real thing, in sharp contrast to THE DICTIONARY'S stance.
It's a powerful show of strength.
If there's one thing that great historical figures do, it's not admit to a mistake but then make things way worse by insisting they never go away and suggesting that gibberish might be of actual national security importance.
If only we could all run for the bushes.