If giving up alcohol for the rest of your life would stop climate change, save a stranger’s life, or even help find the cure for cancer, would you be willing to give it up forever? Would you rather lose a finger or give up drinking? Would you give it up forever just to get Donald Trump the hell out of the White House?

A recent survey, guaranteed to make you feel like a terrible person and wonder if you have a drinking problem, conducted by asked over 1000 Americans about what they would and wouldn't be willing to give up in order to be able to keep alcohol in their life.

Most people, it turned out, would be willing to give up booze for the greater good of all society.


I will admit that the thought of "What if I just bought those kids some water?" crossed my mind, and now I feel like I just may be the most terrible person on earth.

The survey also found that 10% of people who drink "a few times a week," and 24% of those who drink once a day said they would rather lose a finger than give up drinking forever, and you just really had to think about that one for a moment, didn't you?

But perhaps the most interesting part of the study showed that 73% of Democrats and 17% of Republicans would happily give up booze for the rest of their life if it meant Trump would be impeached tomorrow.


Of course, that would mean doing three years of a Pence presidency sober, which could have it's drawbacks. On the other side of things, 30.6% of Republicans and 6.5% of Democrats (really?) said they'd give up booze forever if the media would stop being mean to poor Donald Trump.

What about you? What would you give up booze for?