It's President Donald Trump's 71st birthday today, and it surprisingly and sadly has yet to be a national holiday. And with 71 being pretty up there in age, he's likely to declare the passage of time to be "fake news!!!"
Trump will undoubtedly be celebrating with a "beautiful" piece of cake, but hopefully the cake doesn't inspire him to strike Syria again.
People are wishing Dear Leader a blessed day.
What do you give the man who has everything?
John Dean of Watergate fame even chimed in with a pitch of how we should celebrate.
And people are ready to lavish him with gifts.
It's strange to see presidential decrees topped off with balloons.
Yes, the timing is bad. Or is it good?
Chelsea Handler hilariously serenaded him, Marilyn Monroe-style, over a montage of his greatest hits.
Of course, his great, obedient children posted earnest, celebratory posts, though Eric's appears more to be an add for Trump Turnberry™.
And as always, where's Tiffany?