The joke Trump banned from his Comedy Central Roast might solve the mystery of his tax returns.

The joke Trump banned from his Comedy Central Roast might solve the mystery of his tax returns.
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The 2011 Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump was one of the all-time greats in the genre. It was an epic verbal beating, from Anthony Jeselnik's takedown of his business acumen ("Donald, you've got a great sense of humor. You've been so happy to embarrass yourself on Saturday Night Live and the casino business,") and his gross relationship with Ivanka ("The Donald and I have a lot in common: We both live in New York, we both play golf, we both fantasize about his daughter," joked Jeff Ross).

Here's a sizzle reel, that is cathartic to watch. As Snoop Dogg (Snoop Dogg?!) says, "He wants to run for president and move into the White House. Why not? It wouldn't be the first time you pushed a black family out of their home."

Aaron Lee, who has written for every Comedy Central Roast since Pam Anderson's turn in 2005 (with a brief hiatus during Charlie Sheen's), shared some intel about what joke topics were "too far" for The Donald.

"Each year, the 'roastee' has certain topics they declare off-limits," Lee writes on the List App. "It's always interesting to learn what is 'sacred' for a celebrity."

Here's what was allowed and not allowed:

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ALLOWED: Jokes about Trump's hair
ALLOWED: Jokes about Trump's wife Melania (and his two previous marriages)
ALLOWED: Jokes about Trump having sex with models
ALLOWED: Jokes about the failure of Trump Steaks, Trump Water, Trump Cologne, and other Trump products
ALLOWED: Jokes about Trump's failed casinos
ALLOWED: Jokes about how Trump only became successful thanks to his wealthy father
ALLOWED: Jokes about Trump's weight
ALLOWED: Jokes about Trump being attracted to his daughter Ivanka
NOT ALLOWED: Any joke that suggests Trump is not actually as wealthy as he claims to be.

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Hmmm...Interesting.
Giphy
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Trump was happy to throw his children under the bus, and to have his incestuous fantasies of his daughter Ivanka exposed, but put a harsh moratorium on anything suggesting that he might not be a billionaire. After all, that's his brand. (Indeed, he sued a biographer for libel for suggesting he was only worth $150-250 million. Trump was forced to show his tax returns in court. The findings were sealed. Trump lost.)

Jeselnik, one of Trump's Roasters, told the late, great Joan Rivers in 2013, “Donald Trump’s rule was, don’t say I have less money than I say I do. Make fun of my kids, do whatever you want, just don’t say I don’t have that much money.”

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There must be some element of truth to it if Trump decisively vetoed any joke that would even dare to hint at his possible poorness. Trump is the first presidential candidate in history who refuses to release his tax returns, perhaps out of fear of what we might see behind the curtain.

Whether it's the fact that he's not a billionaire...

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...or ties to the Russians.

Seth Meyers is also on to Trump, and called him out on his August 2 show.

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