It's what I've been saying all along.
Like a true Iowan everyman, Donald Trump showed up to the Iowa State Fair in his helicopter. After calling Obamacare a slut, or challenging China to a breath-holding-contest, or whatever it is Trump is doing nowadays, he let some of the kids go for a ride in his fancy helicopter, like a true rich, eccentric uncle. The Bowman family and their young boys hopped in, and while they were cruising, the following exchange occurred between William, 9, and Trump:
"Mr. Trump," he said, aiming the camera at his benefactor.
"Yes," Trump said, pulling on the lapels of his jacket.
"Are you Batman?" the boy asked.
"I am Batman," Trump said.
That explains everything! He came from a rich family, he likes to take justice into his own hands, it's hard to understand him when he's talking, he lives in a penthouse above the city, and he has a lot of issues with the women in his life.
William was wearing a GoPro and recorded the whole thing, but the videos kept getting deleted from YouTube. Was this the result of a cover-up? Did Trump screw up? Was he trying to mask his hidden identity? Well, no, actually. We found the original video below, which hasn't been deleted. It comes from a Republican reporter named Monte Goodyk, and it seems like he was just trying to get people to stop stealing his video, but we're gonna pretend it was a cover-up since that's way more dramatically compelling.
What else is he hiding?