For those of you who have been wondering why the President of the United States spends so much time on Twitter calling people names, Pastor Frank Amedia has an explanation. The former "Christian Policy liason" to the Trump campaign claims that the reason he is doing this is... because God told him to. That God is, in fact, "downloading" directly into Trump's brain, causing him to tweet about how CNN is "fake news" or how Meryl Streep is an overrated actress.
He took some time to explain this fascinating theory over at Jim Bakker's Buy My Mexican Food Buckets 'Cause The World Is Ending Soon Funtime Hour.
Amedia explains that Trump turns to Twitter because he is bored with "nonconsequential" things like running the country and what have you -- on account of the fact that God has given him the gift of "discernment."
“I believe he receives downloads that now he’s beginning to understand come from God,” Amedia explained. Which is a thing I've heard tinfoil hats can help fix. Apparently God is far more concerned with the hosts of Morning Joe than he is with making sure people don't die of treatable illnesses. Who would have thought?
I'm skeptical. God may be sending Trump downloads, but from the way he tweets, are we sure the transmissions are not being hacked by 14-year-old internet trolls who hang out on 4chan?
Now, if you think this whole idea is laughable, Frank Amedia will have you know that he is a person who can be trusted on this. Because not only is he also on God's Listserve, but God has given him the power to, um... stop tsunamis with his mind.
Yes, back in 2011, a massive tsunami hit Japan, killing more than 20,000 people. Frank's wife woke him up to tell him that his daughter was in Hawaii, and would be in grave danger should the tsunami head over there. So Frank leapt out of bed and demanded “that that tsunami stop, that it cannot touch [Hawaii], that is my inheritance, that is my child and as a prophet of God, I command you to stop now.”
And lo and behold, the tsunami did not hit Hawaii, and Frank's daughter was saved. Sadly, we cannot say the same for the 20,000 people in Japan who do not happen to be related to God's BFF, Frank Amedia.
So, he says when we all have a good laugh about him and Trump getting special downloads direct from God, “God laughs in heaven,” because obviously dudes with magic tsunami-stopping powers know what they are talking about.