Today in "Oh well, I guess we are living in a weird dystopia now" news, Vice News is reporting that President Donald Trump has two folders full of "positive news" about himself delivered daily by his minions, so that he may bask in his own glory. Sort of like a daily Presidential Participation Trophy. Is that normal? No, it is not normal. Nothing is normal anymore!

Vice reports:

Beginning at 6 a.m. every weekday — the early start is a longtime war room tradition — three staffers arrive at the RNC to begin monitoring the morning shows on CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News as they scour the internet and newspapers. Every 30 minutes or so, the staffers send the White House Communications Office an email with chyron screenshots, tweets, news stories, and interview transcripts.

White House staffers then cull the information, send out clips to other officials, and push favorable headlines to a list of journalists. But they also pick out the most positive bits to give to the president. On days when there aren’t enough positive chyrons, communications staffers begin asking the RNC staffers for flattering photos of the president.


Here is one of the pictures from the folder. Very realistic! So manly!

According to Vice, while the Donald Trump Is Great Scrapbook 'O' Dreams And Daily Affirmations is prepared by RNC staffers, Reince Priebus and Sean Spicer used to bicker about who got to deliver all the good news to Trump. Oh, to be a fly on that wall! The report also notes that staffers refer to it as the "propaganda document," which seems like a very normal thing for a Democratic society to have. Especially if puffy paint is involved, which we suspect it is.

Now, you may be wondering -- aren't these the same people who rail against "safe spaces?" Relax, it's different when they do it. Because when they do it, it's like, really manly and cool and shut up, no one is being a weird hypocrite here.

What is next? Will they make him a Pinterest board filled only with tweets complimenting how his hair is looking that day? Perhaps a slideshow of the pictures of him looking "powerful" that plays Joe Cocker's "You Are So Beautiful" throughout? Jeff Sessions is on the outs these days, we hear -- maybe he should prepare a tasteful cabaret in which he serenades Trump with varying renditions of "The Man I Love?" Bring back all the Rockettes to tell him what pretty eyes he has? Perhaps they can all sit around a campfire and tell tales of Trump's derring-do, like the time he killed him a bar when he was only three (the bar was technically a mini-bar at the Ritz, but shhhh....).

Oh, or maybe they can just stage yet another episode of the "Everyone Go Around In A Circle And Share Something You Love About Donald Trump Hour?"

One can only hope! Now that they've got the quality programming of TrumpTV, the possibilities for propaganda are truly, truly endless.

Sources: Vice