On Thursday, President Donald Trump gave what reports are calling an "impromptu" interview with the New York Times, while apparently chomping down a meal in the noisiest room available at his golf club in Florida.
And as some debated whether or not the Times went too easy on Trump, we're more concerned about the 36 times his comments were recorded as "inaudible." Guys, the president's talking. Could we put a hold on that cappuccino order?
While the paper of record explained that the many, many instances of "[inaudible]" quotes in the transcript were due to "noise" in the "Grill Room," the president still managed to shoot off some juicy quotes the tape recorder actually picked up.
(Editor's note: Trump went off on a whole tangent about healthcare so intricate and confusing we're not even going to address it — you can check out these two giddy CNN hosts on that one if you're interested).
Without further adieu, here are 15 quotes that will keeps the news cycle churning until Trump's next tweet:
1. On the difference between the Electoral College and the popular vote:
And it’s different. It’s in golf. If you have a tournament and you have match play or stroke play, you prepare differently, believe it or not. It’s different. Match play is very different than stroke play. And you prepare. So I went to Maine five times, I went to [inaudible], the genius of the Electoral College is that you go to places you might not go to.
2. On collusion (and blinking).
I have no expectation. I can only tell you that there is absolutely no collusion. Everybody knows it. And you know who knows it better than anybody? The Democrats. They walk around blinking at each other.
We've managed to get a live-feed of Democrats blinking:
3. On both special counsel Robert Mueller and NYT interviewer Michael S. Schmidt treating him fairly.
There’s been no collusion. But I think he’s going to be fair. And if he’s fair — because everybody knows the answer already, Michael. I want you to treat me fairly. O.K.?
4. On the Russia investigation in general.
The only thing that bothers me about timing, I think it’s a very bad thing for the country. Because it makes the country look bad, it makes the country look very bad, and it puts the country in a very bad position. So the sooner it’s worked out, the better it is for the country.
5. On "this Pakistani guy."
But there is tremendous collusion with the Russians and with the Democratic Party. Including all of the stuff with the — and then whatever happened to the Pakistani guy, that had the two, you know, whatever happened to this Pakistani guy who worked with the D.N.C.?
6. On the Justice Department.
I have absolute right to do what I want to do with the Justice Department.
7. On collusion, which there wasn't, but if there was.
I watched Alan Dershowitz the other day, he said, No. 1, there is no collusion, No. 2, collusion is not a crime, but even if it was a crime, there was no collusion. And he said that very strongly. He said there was no collusion. And he has studied this thing very closely. I’ve seen him a number of times. There is no collusion, and even if there was, it’s not a crime. But there’s no collusion. I don’t even say [inaudible]. I don’t even go that far.
8. On Obama's loyal attorney general, Eric Holder.
I don’t want to get into loyalty, but I will tell you that, I will say this: Holder protected President Obama. Totally protected him. When you look at the I.R.S. scandal, when you look at the guns for whatever, when you look at all of the tremendous, ah, real problems they had, not made-up problems like Russian collusion, these were real problems. When you look at the things that they did, and Holder protected the president. And I have great respect for that, I’ll be honest, I have great respect for that.
9. On his love-hate relationship with Democratic West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin.
So. … We started taxes. And we don’t hear from the Democrats. You know, we hear bullshit from the Democrats. Like Joe Manchin. Joe’s a nice guy.
10. On helping Roy Moore almost win even though he didn't like him.
I feel that I have to endorse Republicans as the head of the party. So, I endorsed him. It became a much closer race because of my endorsement. People don’t say that. They say, Oh, Donald Trump lost. I didn’t lose, I brought him up a lot.
11. On "doing a bipartisan" with the Dems on taxes.
Had they asked, “Let’s do a bipartisan,” Michael, I would have done bipartisan. I would absolutely have done bipartisan.
12. On health care.
Now I’ve ended the individual mandate. And the other thing I wish you’d tell people. So when I do this, and we’ve got health care, you know, McCain did his vote. … But what we have. I had a hundred congressmen that said no and I was able to talk them into it. They’re great people.
13. On immigration and "the chain."
I’m always moving. I’m moving in both directions. We have to get rid of chainlike immigration, we have to get rid of the chain. The chain is the last guy that killed. … [Talking with guests.] … The last guy that killed the eight people. … [Inaudible.] … So badly wounded people. … Twenty-two people came in through chain migration. Chain migration and the lottery system. They have a lottery in these countries.
14. On Chinese President Xi's hospitality.
He treated me better than anybody’s ever been treated in the history of China.
15. And, at last, on Twitter.
And, by the way, it’s not a tweet. It’s social media, and it gets out in the world, and the reason I do well is that I can be treated unfairly and very dishonestly by CNN, and, you know, I have — what do have now, John, 158 million, including Facebook, including Twitter, including Instagram, including every form, I have a 158 million people. Reporting just this morning, they said 158 million. So if they a do a story that’s false, I can do something — otherwise, Andy, otherwise you just sort of walk around saying what can I do? What, am I going to have a press conference every time somebody, every time Michael writes something wrong?