Apparently, White House staffers wanted to include a few links to positive news stories about Donald Trump. Which is all well and good, if you can find any. Unfortunately for Donald Trump, whoever put the White House newsletter together failed to even glance at the Washington Post article they included—a hilarious piece by writer Alexandra Petri absolutely savaging the Trump budget. The headline was "Trump’s budget makes perfect sense and will fix America, and I will tell you why."
The article is hilarious, especially if you've been following the headlines on Trump's proposed budget. If the Trump administration gets its way, they'll increase funding for the military and immigration enforcement and slash it nearly everywhere else.
Here's the second paragraph of Petri's savage satire column:
This budget will make America a lean, mean fighting machine with bulging, rippling muscles and not an ounce of fat. America has been weak and soft for too long. BUT HOW WILL I SURVIVE ON THIS BUDGET? you may be wondering. I AM A HUMAN CHILD, NOT A COSTLY FIGHTER JET. You may not survive, but that is because you are SOFT and WEAK, something this budget is designed to eliminate.
You'd think the Trump administration would be able to recognize satire against him at this point, wouldn't you? What with SNL devoting most of their airtime to it?
Here's a few more great quotes from the Washington Post column, about why Donald Trump's budget is the greatest budget in the history of budgets:
National Endowment for the Arts: The NEA will be destroyed and replaced with an armored helicopter with a shark painted on it.
Affordable housing is a luxury and we are going to get rid of it. Donald Trump does not live in affordable housing and neither should you.
[On education]: All schoolchildren will be taught by an F-35 wearing a Make America Great Again hat.
Alexandra Petri told The Daily Beast she's "honored to finally be real, true news, which is all I've ever striven for." Read Petri's full article, here.