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Behold, an idiot who tempted fate.


"Read the word masturbate thousands of times?"

Even though as a blog person (or "blorson" as we call ourselves in the blog biz, or "bloz"), I spend a lot of time there, lurking and waiting to steal the content they stole from someone else, I would normally never write about what actually happens on reddit. Because nobody cares. Every once in a while, though, there's an exception to that rule, like when someone corrected Barack Obama's grammar during an AMA with the President. Today was one of those exceptions. Today was a day when someone asked the Internet an open-ended question that could be answered a million ways, but which they should have known would only be answered with one.

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From the top:


It's like seeing jazz legends riff together, if their only note was "masturbate."


Clearly some former cheerleaders here on reddit.

Even in the rare moments when it wasn't 'Masturbate', it was still 'Masturbate':


Tom Cruisin' is definitely my new vocab word of the day.

Reality begins to dawn on PineappleInTheMist:


On the Internet, there are definitely stupid questions.

Not that he's allowed to join in.


If you can't beat 'em, beat it with 'em. Unless they won't let you.

Never underestimate the Internet's ability to masturbate

And finally the most masturbatory comment of all:

Although this gif summed it up best (NSFW):


To be fair, this gif sums up 90% of reddit threads.

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Aren't you spent yet, Internet?


That's a big load.

You disgust me. But I guess I should have expected it.

Sources: redditor PineappleInTheMist