When a friend asks you to be a godfather or godmother to their baby, it's usually pretty exciting. But what if you're not sure that the baby you're going to be godfathering, or in this case (literally providing legal guardianship to) isn't DEFINITELY your friend's kid?
When this man gets asked by his friend and friend's weird GF to be the godfather and guardian to their baby on the way, he takes to popular Reddit forum to ask:
'AITA for refusing to be a god-father/legal guardian for my friends baby without a DNA test?'
Weird title. Weirder situation. So my (26M) best friend is Derek (26M). We’ve been best friends since we’ve been 8 years old. Due to some family issues he lived with my family during HS and college. My parents call him their “bonus kid” and we are basically brothers at this point.
So I really don’t trust his GF of 3 years Nicole (25F). She has always just given me bad vibes. She lies about little things for no reason. And he’s heads over heels for her. I’ve always been respectful to her, but am always looking out for Derek. - worriedfrisbd
So Nicole is now 8 months pregnant. Derek comes to me asking me to be the god-father/legal guardian. Derek works a dangerous job, so it wouldn’t be crazy for something to happen to him. Nicole was on board with this too. I told him I would do that as long as he gets a DNA test done first.
He was shocked and asked why. About 7 months ago. Derek and Nicole broke up for a couple days. She claimed nothing happened with anyone else, but why not make sure? Why would it be an issue if she has nothing to hide?
But my biggest reason is what Nicole did with her sister. So Nicole's sister had a kid. Claimed her BF was the dad (he wasn’t and Nicole and her sister knew he wasn’t). Nicole lied straight to her sisters BF for years. Nicole knew the whole time that her niece wasn’t his kid.
Everything came out eventually. Dude left and Nicole blamed the ex-BF for “not loving his kid regardless”. I told her that it wasn’t his kid and she knew it. When I called Nicole out she said it “wasn’t her place to tell her sister's boyfriend”.
Me and Derek have had deep talks about that. But he just defends Nicole’s actions. I asked him straight up if the kid wasn’t his would be stick around? He said no.
Hence my pushing for a DNA test. Derek blew up at me. Saying I’m was forcing him into something he doesn’t want. I said I’m not helping raise some others dude's kid. And that if the DNA test is such an issue then pick someone else to be the godfather.
And he can just tell Nicole I’m the one pushing for this and the blame can be on me. My parents are calling me an AH. My GF agrees that every kid should be given a DNA test at the hospital at birth to avoid issues. And we don’t understand why that isn’t a law. She is on my side with everything. AITA?
I'm sorry, why is OP supposed to the legal guardian again? This is a serious accusation and even if it's from the godfather it's still a direct accusation of lying, unfaithfulness, and so much more. This will naturally impact the relationship negatively between all parties.
Further, what mom would want her child to go to someone who thinks so little of her? Why is that part ignored as not a big deal when it clearly is? He has NO PROOF. YTA. - tahtahme
NTA AT ALL. No man should ever wonder if his children are really his. Paternity testing should be done AT EVERY BIRTH! - nitareedesigns
Nicole is shady. She already involved in this type of thing. Not your place or not letting that go on for years just shows she sees nothing wrong with it. She and the sister are cut from the same cloth. NTA. - dramatic-storage106
YTA. Absolutely this. My immediate reaction to this is 'f*** you for questioning my integrity and my loyalty to my partner.' - ladydouchebag
NTA. Which is why DNA tests should be automatic at birth before a fathers name is put on the birth certificate. That takes the 'you don't trust me' argument out of it. A significant enough percentage of men are tagged to be fathers who aren't that getting to the bottom of this when the kid is first born is in society's interest.
The laws surrounding this were developed long before the technology to find out the truth existed. Let's update to modern times. - the_eluder
Why is OP so certain that Nicole is lying just because she lied for her sister. It really WASN'T her place to tell her sister's boyfriend about the paternity of their child. This godfather needs to mind his own business. YTA. - ML837G5Byesss