Hookup culture: a gift and a curse. For those unafraid of rejection? It's all a numbers game! For the rest of us who live in abject fear of any and every form of rejection? It's a little more complicated...
When a Reddit user posed the question 'Girls, what are hints you give that guys never understand?' many of the answers came not from women (surprise!), but from men who have been the victims of these elusive hints. Here are some of the hilarious top posts for your guilty pleasure:
1.
One time I had dinner with a beautiful woman who actually made the first move and asked me out. At the end of the night I walked her to her car and asked what her plans were. She said she was just going to go home, open a bottle of wine and watch The Winter Soldier.
Sounds like a 'dude' movie to me...
I had already seen the film in the theaters so I said 'That was a good one, you're really going to like it.' She got in her car and drove away and I walked back to my hotel. It didn't dawn on me what I had done until weeks later when I was back home. - I_used_to_be_hip
2.
My wife still makes fun of me for shaking her hand to say goodbye on our first date and then going 3 dates without trying to kiss her. - ALC_PG
3.
I was visiting Spain, staying at a small cozy hotel. After checking in this kinda pretty receptionist comes to my room and says there was a mistake with my room rates and I overpaid by 10 euros. So she can either buy me dinner tonight or give me 10 euros back. Poor girl was out of €10. - Royal-Green
4.
When I was about 16/17 my friends parents went away. I had a massive crush on this guy and one night he invited me and another female friend round to watch a film with him and his friend. I had my plan set up and it was going better then expected when my friend and his friend started kissing and went outside for some “air”.
I said I was hot and asked the guy I had a crush on would he mind if I took my top off, he just said no go for it and then carried on watching the film. I then asked if he could show me where the bathroom. We went upstairs and he pointed at it. I went for it and said “which bedroom is yours?” And he again pointed so I went in and sat on his bed.
A topless girl in your bed should be obvious enough, no?
He still didn’t take the hint and just said “hurry up in the toilet so we can finish watching the film” 😂😂😂 A good ten years later he messaged me on Facebook and said he’d just realized what I was hinting at 😂😂😂 - Pretendsinglewife
5. And this woman who is arguable way too subtle:
'I really love receiving flowers.'
Edit: To clarify I've said this to my bf over the course of 4 yrs. And I don't mind I haven't gotten any. I love him very much regardless. <3 :) - Spyderfool
6. And this one that takes a creepy turn:
I had a chemistry class in college, and this attractive young lady keeps sitting next to me and chatting with me during breaks. I sometimes changed seats, but she would sit next to me anyway. Eventually a friend of mine told me that it was obvious she liked me.
So I asked her out. But she wasn't interested. Seems like she was just hoping to be in a group of smart people for group work. And it turns out she was in highschool. FML. - heuristic_al
7.
Once while working at a haunted hayride, I and another girl were actors in it. In down-time between tractors, she told me she was going to pretend to be in a coma like sleeping beauty over behind a tree, and could only be awaken with a kiss from Prince Charming.
Aw, that's kind of cute!
I chuckled, 'He he, ok.' A few minutes later she came back to the group, and sat around the fire with the group in silence. She never came back the rest of the weekend, or any of the other weekends of the hayride. - NecroJoe
That poor princess...
8.
My teenage crush literally asked my out in high school and I shrugged her off because I thought it was a prank. - Igagug
9.
I was pining after this guy for over a year and he never got one of my hints. It got to the point where i just straight up walked up to him and said 'Listen, do you like me or not? Because I have been giving you so many hints this past year that i'm attracted to you.' we dated for a bit after that and he told me he never realized that i was attracted to him because I was 'out of his league'. - crepperisbraindead
10. A masterclass in subtlety:
I'm so glad the girlfriend who would become my wife was super good about hints. Like on our first date when she wanted to let me know we should kiss, she said 'Can I kiss you?' and I instantly knew. - MesWantooth
11.
I was on a date and we'd been waking through this forest walk by the river and it was quite romantic so we were kissing. I mentioned my really cute cat waiting at home and asked him if he'd like to meet Mo. He said yes so we arrive back at my house and for the next half hour he sits on the floor playing with my cat. Eventually I had to tell him the cat was a ploy and I'd just really wanted to take him home. - MoscaMye
Apparently, that wasn't a unique experience:
12.
My girlfriend was mildly upset with me because she invited me over to hang out with her, and the cat who usually doesn’t like to be held, crawled alllll over me and I got to pet her tummy and cuddle with her for like an hour. GR said she’d invited me over so I could cuddle with her and not the cat thankyouverymuch haha. - Bazrum
13.
This one time a nice lady asked if she could put me in her grocery cart and take me home. I’m over 6 foot and 220 pounds. I think I missed that one hint. - tree_basher
Idk, sounds more like she was a kidnapper. Women can be creeps, too!
14.
When I was younger I went late night swimming with this girl I knew, her roommate and and another dude, then we stayed up got drunk in her apartment, great time, fun night. They leave, we go in her room.We're in bed, only my shirts off, she gives me a back rub, it's very nice, she asks if I want to give her one.
I was like nah and we went to sleep. That was around 25 years ago and I can't remember the girls name but sometimes I stop and fondly remember that night and think about what a f*cking dummy I am... - Invaderk2
Truly rude to not return the favor, though.
15.
I had a moment like that too. It was new year, I was 18, and we were partying in a big industrial fridge. When time to sleep came, I realized the fridge was full of cigarettes smoke and I react very poorly to it. I said so outloud. A girl that was up with me said the same. I said I will sleep in my car. She asked if she could join. I said yes. She was incredibly gorgeous and so out of my league.
At one point during the night she looked at me in the eyes and with the most lustful voice and look she said 'Olcan I am so cold ' I was like wow. Not on my watch. ' here take my coat on top of your blanket it will be better' and them I tucked her in and said good night. Next morning she was avoiding me and didn't talk to me anymore. My friends who had understood her play instantly were asking me how it was and i naively said 'we slept okay, but it was a bit cold.' - OlcanRaider
16.
I used to be pretty forward and have been turned down a lot. One of the guys i would come on to (now married) posted on Facebook how funny i was in college when i would joke around that i was interested in him. I told him that i was interested in him, but he always blew me off. Of course then he jumped in my dms to ask if it's too late. Yeah dude, we're both married now. - nyenbee
Sounds about right.
17.
I buy records from Barnes and noble and I remember I couldn’t stand this cute blonde who worked at the front counter. I felt like whenever I bought a record she did the white woman version of mansplaining each record I bought like I’m some dum dum. One day I went with my brother and explained how much she annoyed me. She did it again in front of him.
When we left the store my brother said “you idiot, she likes you and she’s trying to impress you.” Turns out I was a dum dum. I eventually asked her out and we dated for a few months. Long story longer, I’m so clueless I never catch the hints women throw at me. - horsetoothjackass119
18.
Also about 25 years ago. I was in a girls bedroom (way out of my league) and she was showing me a photo album of her in lingerie). Well, that was a fun night, see you later.... She later told me that I didn't know how to take a hint. I have been kicking myself for almost three decades. - bertbarndoor
19.
Bro. I chatted with my friend on Discord and she remembered the first time I met her because her friend thought I was cute. This was during undergrad. I'm 100% dense as a brick because I didn't recognize behavioral cues and mannerisms. - ChiggaOG
20.
'Wanna grab coffee?'
'Nah I don't do caffeine, sorry' - Yurrrr__Brooklyn347