13 truly mind-blowing reasons why.

13 truly mind-blowing reasons why.
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By Dan Abromowitz

1. Swamp gas.

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2. The doctor is his mother.

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3. God is real.

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4. He had another family: his “real” family. How could you hope to compete with that?

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5. To secure the port of Tartus, Russia’s only naval access to the Mediterranean.

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6. Just to see how it would feel.

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7. They were bombarded by cosmic rays.

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8. It’s her body and she can make whatever choices about it she wants.

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9. Revenge for the Kennedys clandestinely murdering Marilyn Monroe, his ex-wife, who knew too much about the family’s mafia ties.

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10. To hurt you.

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11. A bird. Can you believe it?

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12. Sex and/or death.

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13. Because that’s just how it is.

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