I'm going to set you up with a raccoon who can show you how to eat that properly.
We have a lot of douchebags and weridos trying to find dates here in America, enough that we have great sites like Twats On Tinder to showcase their absurdity. We even know that people have been that weird since before there was an Internet.
But nothing comes close to the bizarre freakshow that is Russian online dating. Now, I don't know which Russian dating site(s) these come from. I don't speak Russian, and I sure as hell don't type it. But Sad and Useless has created an awesome list of their best Russian online dating finds, and I'm sure glad they did.
Listen, I think the Russian people are a very attractive group on whole. However, I've also had many, many Russians over the years insist to me that they are by far the best looking people on Earth. So, it is with great pleasure that I present to you the following:
Russians put carpet on walls for insulation. No explanation yet for this man's hair, though.
"If Prince Charming wants to meet me he can come down here. To the carpet."
I just want to show people my two, equally non-sensical sides.
We get the message. We'd love to go on a date. Really. Put the gun down, please.
You had me at "glassy-eyed stare."
And the newspaper makes this officially the sexiest hostage photo ever.
Check out way more at Sad and Useless.
(by Johnny McNulty)