I'm going to set you up with a raccoon who can show you how to eat that properly.
We have a lot of douchebags and weridos trying to find dates here in America, enough that we have great sites like Twats On Tinder to showcase their absurdity. We even know that people have been that weird since before there was an Internet.
But nothing comes close to the bizarre freakshow that is Russian online dating. Now, I don't know which Russian dating site(s) these come from. I don't speak Russian, and I sure as hell don't type it. But Sad and Useless has created an awesome list of their best Russian online dating finds, and I'm sure glad they did.