A good title for a thriller would be [Insert Danger Here].
Last night, there was a police-related incident on USC's campus. A high speed car chase ended near the school. The driver faked surrender, then turned and ran toward campus. Eventually, he was apprehended, and no one was injured.
Luckily, USC's crack warning-text team sprung into action, sending at least some USC students the illuminating text message above. Because the thing you need most in an emergency is an urgent, frightening missive with a complete lack of information. That's actually the entire basis of Twitter.
Being uninformed by an institution makes me miss the days of wandering around the [INSERT ADJECTIVE] campus of [INSERT UNIVERSITY NAME], especially in [SEASON] when the [TYPE OF TREE OR FLOWER] was [INSERT THING TREES AND FLOWERS DO].
(by Shira Rachel Danan)