Fox News' Petraeus flowchart possibly created by a 7-year-old football commentator.

Fox News' Petraeus flowchart possibly created by a 7-year-old football commentator.
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Fox News' Petraeus flowchart possibly created by a 7-year-old football commentator.

Broadwell gave cooties to Petraeus, but she thought he gave them to Kelley, who actually...

Fox News is often accused of dumbing down the news, but this reduces a scandal involving the highest levels of government to something that looks like either A.) small boys playing superheroes preparing a battle plan against the government, or B.) a hookup chart that would embarrass any 6th-grade girl worth her salt. For those who are lost (congratulations, you're not a child!), let's point out the few recognizable symbols: above the arc connecting Petraeus and Broadwell, that's a heart. Between Kelley and Allen, that's a heart that's been crossed out. The arrow over the FBI agent, that's... prayers? And there's a 1 on Allen's face because that's how ugly he is.

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