Snakelike oarfish can grow up to 27 feet in length, but manage to terrify at any size. Like 18 feet. Yup, this 18-foot oarfish is pretty terrifying.
A snorkeler found the 18-foot-long corpse of a giant oarfish you see above near Catalina Island, off the coast of California, earlier this week. It reportedly took 15 people to drag the thing up from the ocean floor, and I have a hard time believing not one of them was like, "Hey, this is a bad idea!" or "Let's kill it with fire!" I mean, people finding something scary in a hard-to-reach place and removing it from that place is how like 75% of horror movies start, right?
According to Jeff Chase, the program director at Catalina Island Marine Institute, the oarfish corpse is a "once-in-a-lifetime discovery" because they're typically found in very deep water. Could the oarfish community have bugged this fish's corpse to try to gain details about the human race so they can plan an attack on us? Well, I don't see any oarfish offering evidence that they're not. BE WARNED, HUMANITY. THE OARFISH ARE COMING FOR US.