I've decided to live a more honest life.

To do so, I wanted to examine my secrets and what I'm afraid other people might find out about me. My conclusions were not particularly exciting. The fact that these are the most thrilling details I'm hiding from the world is actually a little depressing. Regardless, I've chosen to face my fears and admit these truths here on the Internet because it still feels safer than speaking them out loud to a breathing human being.

1. I don't brush my teeth Friday or Saturday nights.