We asked you, dear readers, for your best, funniest, most outrageous stories of the hands-down douchiest things an ex has ever done to you.
You really, really delivered.
A thousand comments and hundreds of emails later, we've culled the first batch of your stories down to the most amusing.
Our sincere apologies to any readers whose stories did not make the list: rest assured, your tales moved us—but were probably more fit for a court of law.
So enjoy the following: the best "terrible ex" stories you'll find this side of Maury.
I was married to and financially supported my husband for 9 years so he could follow his dream of becoming a professional musician. We needed our deck stained and he told me he would do it for $700, which he saw as a bargain! Really? Really. We're both single now.