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Guy’s ‘everyday’ masturbation habit results in greatest viral 'love' story of our generation.

Guy’s ‘everyday’ masturbation habit results in greatest viral 'love' story of our generation.

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A confused teenager's masturbation habit accidentally created the dark, dank conditions perfect for a colony of cockroaches.

The insects prefer "warm, dark, wet areas." Unfortunately, a bedside wall covered in semen checks all three boxes.

This is the weirdest love story on the internet. Read it and leave the web forever.

This is a few months old but I feel like I have to get it out of my head.

So I know most people masturbate in the shower or in the toilet but I've always done it in bed. I am living with my parents so I guess I just like the privacy of my room. Then - and this is what I now realize is me being a fucking weirdo - when it was time I would just pull up the blanket, roll over to the side a bit and cum onto the wall/below the bed. I never really thought much of it and it never smelled bad so I just kept doing it because it was easy... Nobody noticed and people seldom visited my room anyway.

After some years of doing this I recently reached a few difficult points in my life and this exacerbated my masturbation habits. I used to only masturbate like once a week or so (maybe that's why it didn't smell?) but for a couple of weeks I started doing it every day, sometimes a few times a day. This usually wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary for a teenager but since I was always ejaculating on my wall/bed I began to get a bad cockroach infestation there.

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