Diddy made a sex tape that he passed off as an ad for cologne.

Diddy made a sex tape that he passed off as an ad for cologne.

This video is NSFW because it will make you wish your work included simulated sex and selling stuff that smells nice instead of sitting at a desk all day.

For years, leaked sex tapes have skyrocketed otherwise non-relevant people into stardom. But what if you already were famous and want to remain relevant? You too may benefit from having a sex tape.

Sean "Diddy" Combs (a rapper best known for his appearance on The Chris Gethard Show in 2011) set his sights on making the most well-produced sex tape the world has ever seen. No one has time for these long, drawn out "put the camera over there- no - over here" moments. We want our sex tapes to be under a minute, and as weird as possible (since we've already seen so many). Thankfully, Diddy delivered.

Let me give you a rundown if can't watch the video without someone asking if you're watching porn:

-Diddy realizes somewhere down an alley that a girl needs some sex. He sprints like a superhero toward her since this is a matter of life or death.
-Surprise flashback: she's not down the alley at all. She's in the car with Diddy, stepping out of it casually. But we know the truth. She wants to have some sex.
-Yep! Flash forward, in her apartment. Diddy has sex with her everywhere.
-As the sex and running continues, the director uses a consistent avant-garde visual metaphor for sex that is as subtle as it is brilliant: Diddy sits on grassy knoll, fully clothed, with a naked lady on top of him.
-More running.
-Back to the grassy knoll.
-Now they're having sex in a nightclub and an apartment and a bed.
-The knoll has a blood moon hovering over it, a clear nod to the conspiracy theory that the FBI killed JFK on the grassy knoll in Dallas.
-Now that the audience is sufficiently confused into being horny, Diddy finally gets the girl in bed and starts having some sex.


Only after you've seen all that do you realize this sex tape wasn't for Diddy to remain relevant. It was an ad for his cologne called 3 AM which I'm guessing got its name from politics and the proverbial "3 AM phone call" because for Diddy, someone needing some good sex is a matter of national concern.

The main selling point of the cologne is that it will convince people to make sex tapes with you. Go buy some.