CNNHNIWIT - CNN Has No Idea What I'm Texting
CNN has become the embarrassingly uncool mom of cable news. It seems like once every year, someone is trying to understand the "crazy ways" kids communicate because simply talking to their children is just not possible.
This year, CNN put out a list of "28 Internet acronyms every parent should know."
One thing that makes this list ridiculous is that if you actually have access to your kid's texts, you already know plenty. If someone wrote an acronym for "send me a naked pic," you would know it, because the next text would a a picture of somebody naked.
Another thing that makes this list ridiculous is that these acronyms either don't exist, stand for something else, or are extremely outdated. I might not be a teen, but I know how teens communicate because every time I'm faced with slang I don't understand, I go straight to Urban Dictionary and it never lets me down. UD is a generated by users, much like Wikipedia, and each definition is voted on by the public. As such, it is truly a legitimate source of modern phrases and slang; they even have audio files where people can upload how the each word or phrase is pronounced so you don't sound like an idiot when you try to use it. Unfortunately, the type of people who haven't heard of Urban Dictionary are also likely the people who trust that CNN knows what teenagers are up to, so I've gone ahead and done the work of fact-checking CNN's insights against Urban Dictionary .
Thus, I present to you CNN's list of made up acronyms and definitions, and the actual definitions of them from Urban Dictionary as professed by the people who use them:
1. IWSN - I want sex now
UD Definition: "For lazy people and as a joke. "
2. GNOC - Get naked on camera
Seemed plausible, but UrbanDictionary's definition directly states that no one uses except for sexual predators,, and the example indicates that even then, a teen wouldn't know what it is:
"Get Nude On Cam, Mostly Used In Sex Chat Room's But Not Many People Use It And Its Mostly Used By Pedo's.
pedo: asl ?
young girl: 14-f-uk
young girl : huh ?"
3. NIFOC - Naked in front of computer
This one checks out, but the fact that only one person entered it into the site implies that it is not used often. (Common phrases and acronyms can have hundreds of people submitting definitions.)
4. PIR - Parent in room
UD only has one definition of confirming this interpretation, and it was contributed in 2003, back when kids used chatrooms. A more recent interpretation was that it stands for "Price Is Right."
5 CU46 - See you for sex
Just one definition. Barely anyone voted on it so not that common.
6. 53X - Sex
Same as above, also a decade old.
7. 9 - Parent watching
Ironically, "Parent watching" comes up as the 9th most valid definition, after referencing guns, or the number that 7 ate. And that definition was from 2005.
8. 99 - Parent gone
Same as above
9. 1174' - Party meeting place
This definition is not corroborated at all on UD, with our without that ridiculous apostrophe.
10. THOT - That hoe over there
You've already heard of this one. Yes it is the correct definition, but no, it has nothing to do with sexting.
11. CID - Acid (the drug)
"Drug slang term for lsd, or "acid". Considered by myself to be one of the most useless and stupid terms because it is only one letter away from the actual name of the drug, duh."
A more recent definition of it is "caffeine induced dump."
12. Broken - Hungover from alcohol
UD has over 150 entries for this term, none of them include being hungover.
13. 420 - Marijuana
Duh. If you are a parent who doesn't already know this, then you also don't know how to spy on your kid's texts.
14. POS - Parent over shoulder
I don't need to look in UD to know that the most common use of this abbreviation is for "piece of shit." But I checked and did find this 2003 definition of it:
"Another gay instant messenger abbreviation created by losers with no life. Means 'parent over shoulder.'"
15. SUGARPIC - Suggestive or erotic photo
Only one entry for this. It does confirm, but it is from 2005.
16. KOTL - Kiss on the lips
First definition on UD demonstrates how most people don't know what this means:
curiousgirl: "What does KOTL mean?"
cleverguy: "Come over here, I'll show you..."
17. (L)MIRL - Let's meet in real life
UD has no definition for (L)MIRL but it does have MIRL, where it favors the definition "girl who looks like a man." When "meet in real life" finally appears as the fourth most popular definition, pedophiles make their second appearance on this list as "The pedophilic [sic] acronym for Meet In Real Life."
18. PRON - Porn
Technically correct, although it is actually supposed to be "pr0n," with a zero instead of an "o." Besides, anyone who can't decode that themselves should have their children taken away because they are too dumb to raise them.
19. TDTM - Talk dirty to me
Correct, but from 2004, and is so old it is defined as "like the Poison song."
20. 8 - Oral sex
This one is legit. Get it? "Ate."
21. CD9 - Parents around/Code 9
Even less commonly used than "9"
22. IPN - I'm posting naked
23. LH6 - Let's have sex
24. WTTP - Want to trade pictures?
25. DOC - Drug of choice
All the way down as the 7th definition, and from 2007.
26. TWD - Texting while driving
27. GYPO - Get your pants off
Nope. This is just a derogatory term for gypsy. (Although one person suggested it could stand for "get your penis out.")
28. KPC- Keeping parents clueless
If they really want an acronym that stands for keeping parents clueless, the should go with "CNN."
(by Myka Fox)