The Patriot Act expired last night and the NSA's bulk metadata collection has been shut down. Let the party begin.
Send all the sexts your little heart desires. (via Thinkstock)
Thanks to the inefficiency of Congress, the controversial set of anti-terrorism laws that allowed the NSA to collect data and get roving wiretaps are no longer valid. You know what that means, right? It's time to send a bunch of texts that you know the government won't ever read. Here are some ideas for how to really take advantage of this situation.
1. Send naked selfies. Have you always wanted to show a special someone that you really care, but didn't want the NSA to intercept the message? Your time has come. The government is officially no longer able to enjoy your tasteful nudes, send as many as you like! Just remember not to save them to the cloud.
2. Text your ex and delete the message. Do you miss your ex? Did you have too much wine while watching Game of Thrones last night? Not to worry! Go ahead and send a bevy of wistful texts to your ex, because when you wake up hungover in the morning and delete the message it is deleted FOR GOOD. It's not stored on a server somewhere waiting to be read by a government agent. I just wish deleting a text also deleted it from the other person's phone.
3. Use your phone to make a phone call. That's why nobody makes calls anymore, right? Because we know the government is listening? Just kidding, I know it's because everyone would rather the ease of emotionless texts, instead of actually hearing a human voice. However, phone calls are pretty great, now that the NSA isn't tapping your phone. Once you hang up there's no record of the conversation! It's another way to do something you regret and pretend it never happened.
4. Send texts about politics without having a panic attack. Do you like to keep up with the news, but are afraid that sending your BFF a joke containing the letters ISIS will land you on a waterboard? As of last night, you can send all the political quips your heart desires, without the sinking feeling that men in suits are about to knock on your door.
5. Realize the government is probably still collecting data. Sorry, everybody, but I have a feeling the government always has and always will be spying on us, with or without our knowledge. So just live your life and send sexts and make mistakes and remember to call your parents, they want to hear from you.