5. Iggy Azalea, because she's in deep with the IRS.
Rapper/model/beefmaster Iggy Azalea may be Australian, but that won't protect her from having to cough up her hard-earned American dollars to the taxman just like everybody else. Apparently, she's been trying to skate by on her good looks for years.
TMZ is reporting that the IRS has slapped Azalea with a massive lien for $391,056.55 in unpaid income taxes dating back to 2014. Considering that's the year her debut album The New Classic became a huge hit, she's probably getting off light. Then again, she could use a break. Last week, her boyfriend admitted to cheating on her.
All in all, it's not a great day for the person who was once accused by Macklemore of cultural appropriation. She probably thought nothing could be more humiliating than that.
4. Drew Barrymore, because she's getting divorced.
Good news for creepy dudes who are still stuck in the mid-90s—your all-time celebrity crush is back on the market. After three years together, Drew Barrymore and husband Will Kopelman are calling it quits. Like any modern couple, they acknowledged their decision by releasing an exclusive statement to People Magazine:
Sadly our family is separating legally, although we do not feel this takes away from us being a family … Divorce might make one feel like a failure, but eventually you start to find grace in the idea that life goes on … Our children are our universe, and we look forward to living the rest of our lives with them as the first priority.
The language of the statement is very sweet and reasonable, highlighting exactly how much the 41-year-old Barrymore has matured since her "wild child" days, back when she was flashing David Letterman (before he became a mountain man). Here's hoping that their family remains strong and happy, and that she never makes another movie with Adam Sandler.
3. 50 Cent, because fans got violent during his show.
Here's a headline that's sure to shock no one. During a performance at Stage 48 in New York on Saturday night, some of 50 Cent's fans got a bit violent. It's no surprise, considering that the rapper is most famous for being shot (and posing with fake money).
50 was rapping from the middle of the crowd like a true populist, and then quickly proved why most performers don't do that. Fans started getting pushy, trying to get closer and closer to the man himself. When security got in the way, things became heated, but the rapper managed not to get involved—until one of his worshippers tried to grab his t-shirt. Then he swatted that fool like a goddamn bug.
The whole incident was caught on video:
Afterward, the show was stopped until the crowd could be cleared from the area. It's not hard to understand why 50 got so upset. With his money problems, he probably can't afford another t-shirt. He's got to keep that one pristine.
2. Mariah Carey, because she fired her whole entourage (or they quit).
Mariah Carey is the definition of a diva in every sense of the word. So, nobody should be too surprised to learn that her relationship with most of her personal staff has soured and that they no longer work for her. But it's still not clear exactly whose decision that was.
Reports originally claimed that Carey's staff were becoming disgruntled over conflicts with Stella Bulochinov—who has been the singer's manager for the past year,and may or may not rule over every aspect of her life with an iron first. After months of friction, Page Six is claiming that a half-dozen of Carey's closest employees, including her tour manager and stylist (who designed her insane engagement ring) had resigned in protest.
But now, Carey is telling TMZ that she was the one who canned her team so that she could replace them with vastly superior, Bulochinov-approved alternates:
I dismissed a majority of my team because I discovered that they didn’t have my best interests at heart. My new team, including manager Stella Bulochnikov are the top of the line in the entertainment business and more importantly in my life and I am now much more financially successful and more organized than in the past.
Is this the truth, or a case of sour grapes? Regardless, it doesn't seem to be bothering the singer too much. She's moving on with her life, planning her extravagant wedding to a billionaire and posting her underwear to Instagram like always:
Yup. She's going to be just fine.
1. A teenager in Roswell who was arrested for stealing and smashing a UFO.
After all these celebrities and their personal problems, it's a relief to read an old-fashioned story about a dumb kid being dumb. Last week in Roswell, New Mexico, a beloved local landmark was stolen—the model UFO that hung on the side of the International UFO Museum. In one senseless act of vandalism, an entire town lost its sense of identity. Surveillance video caught the culprits loading the alien craft onto the back of a pickup truck:
And just when things seemed like they couldn't get worse, they did. The saucer was discovered on the outskirts of town shortly after, smashed to intergalactic bits. Apparently, the universe's most advanced technology couldn't protect itself from hoodlums with baseball bats.
While nothing can bring the UFO back (except plywood and house paint), at least justice was finally served. One of the three thieves was identified and arrested. Police have not released his name because he's only 17, which means he won't have a permanent criminal record for this case of Grand Theft Spaceship. He still has a chance to turn his life around before the aliens find out what he did.