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5. Scarlett Johansson, because her robot movie self-destructed.

Despite the haircut, this is what ScarJo looks like when she's NOT playing a robot.
Despite the haircut, this is what ScarJo looks like when she's NOT playing a robot.
Getty Images

This past weekend was the opening of the highly-anticipated new sci-fi thriller Ghost in the Shell. On paper, this movie had everything you could ask for in a blockbuster: Scarlett Johansson as a sexy robot, scary holograms… it was even adapted from a Japanese anime! What more do you want, America?

But unfortunately, it was not to be. Ghost in the Shell opened to an extremely disappointing $19 million in domestic box office grosses, barely 17% of its $110 million budget. (I used a calculator to figure out that percentage, because I am not a sexy robot.) It was totally dominated by The Boss Baby, also in its opening weekend, which pulled in $49 million.

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To be fair, The Boss Baby is also a special effects extravaganza.
To be fair, The Boss Baby is also a special effects extravaganza.

Among the clouds hanging over Ghost's head were the lingering allegations of whitewashing—specifically, the casting of Johansson in a role that originated as a Japanese woman (robot) in the source material. Some said that the film was yet another example of Hollywood insisting that audiences will accept a main character who is a badass cyborg flipping off buildings and getting USB cables plugged into her head—as long as she's white.

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4. Daryl Hall, because he's suing to make his dreams come true.

His private eyes are watching you, pigs.
His private eyes are watching you, pigs.
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Daryl Hall, the legendary songwriter/vocalist/guitarist/blond of Hall & Oates, has revitalized his career in recent years with Live from Daryl's House, a web series where he invites his musician friends to join him at his upstate New York "house" (actually a nightclub) and jam. At the risk of editorializing, I want to say that this show is awesome. Just check out Daryl and crew getting funky as hell with Cee Lo Green.

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But now, The Man is trying to crush Hall's dreams and snuff out his blue-eyed soul. The singer is trying to add an outdoor stage to Daryl's House, but the town of Pawling, NY says they can't go for that. TMZ reports that officials want him to reduce his planned occupancy from 318 people to 198. That's fewer than the number of musicians on this scorching version of "Green Onions!"

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Hall is suing the town of Pawling so he can resume building the stage that's on his list (of the best things in life). If not, he claims he'll suffer millions of dollars in damages. And then he'll have to take a loan from a Rich Girl.

Seriously, Hall & Oates are underrated. Give them another shot.


3. Blac Chyna, because she tried to copyright the Kardashian name and got smacked down.

Blac Chyna wanted people to call her Angela Kardashian? What kind of crazy name is that?
Blac Chyna wanted people to call her Angela Kardashian? What kind of crazy name is that?
Getty Images
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Blac Chyna's marriage to Rob Kardashian never happened, but their brands will be forever intertwined in the public eye. How romantic. Recently, Chyna tried to cement that synergy by copyrighting the name Angela Renee Kardashian. That would have been her legal name if the marriage had happened—but again, it didn't.

Of course, the Kardashian sisters were having none of this. Kim, Kourtney, and Khloé unleashed their army of lawyers to block Chyna's plan from ever coming to fruition. Here's an exclusive clip of that meeting.

https://giphy.com/gifs/wizard-of-oz-qkQu99F8Y9Bhm
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The Sisters K were successful, of course. Claiming it created "confusion in the marketplace," they blocked Chyna from ever using that name for any corporate purpose, even if she does eventually marry Rob.

So if your dream is to one day become a Kardashian, just marrying one of them won't be enough. You'll have to go back in time and get Kris Jenner to adopt you.


2. A Florida woman on the run after pulling a gun on a 7-Eleven clerk who wouldn't take her "gunked-up" pennies.

The suspect is armed and extremely cheap.
The suspect is armed and extremely cheap.
Melbourne Police Department
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Things almost turned bloody when a penny-pinching woman walked into a 7-Eleven in Melbourne, FL at 1:30 AM last Wednesday to do some shopping. According to eyewitness reports, the crafty shopper grabbed a few items and went to the register, where she tried to pay for them by handing the beleaguered clerk a jar full of pennies. Lt. Steve Sadoff of the Melbourne Police Department told Florida Today,

She had a bunch of pennies in a jar. The clerk said they were dirty, gunked-up pennies. That’s when the argument started.

The clerk explained that there were too many "gunked-up" pennies in the jar for the store to accept, at which point the woman retorted that she was going to kill him. She started shouting and throwing items from the counter at him. Then she left the store and returned with two guns. Man, this lady really loves pennies.

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In the ensuing confrontation, the clerk suffered minor injuries. Witnesses saw the whole thing, and the woman's face and car were caught on security cameras. She got away, but police have already been tipped off to her possible identity. They are currently searching for her. She could face charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, battery, and criminal mischief over $1,000.

Let's just hope she has enough pennies for bail.


1. This woman who ranted against a couple's PDA and became the internet's newest villain.

The internet is rallying behind a young lovey-dovey couple who ran afoul of the most prudish woman fast food has ever seen. After a very innocent, PG-rated display of affection in a Santa Monica, CA poke restaurant, this woman exploded at them for "f**king" in front of everyone. The boyfriend caught her whole rant on video, and posted it to Reddit. Here's his explanation.

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Last night my girlfriend of four years and I were waiting patiently for a lady to order her food at this restaurant in Santa Monica, and I had my arms around her from behind and maybe kissed her on the top of the head once or twice, but that was the extent of it.

Out of nowhere, the lady (who was finalizing her transaction) looks at us and exclaims emphatically how inappropriate PDA was and how uncomfortable it was making her. I thought she was joking because of how little we were actually making contact. I turned and kissed my girlfriend on the cheek and made a loud smack, and that’s where she really lost it. I immediately knew I had to get this on camera, so that’s about where the video picks up.

We tried to stay as calm as possible. I was trying not to engage as I knew this lady was clearly nuts, but when she started calling my girlfriend a slut, whore, etc, and when she stepped closer to her, that’s when I started getting angry. In retrospect, I’m proud that we didn’t sink to her level or anything like that, but wish I would’ve said some more clever remarks. Oh also, I fucked up by not filming in portrait mode – Sorry about that.

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And here's the clip.

If you seriously thought this wouldn't get racist at some point, you need to spend more time online.