Advertising

5. Melania Trump, because she has to live with Donald now.

Reunited and it feels so good.
Reunited and it feels so good.
Getty

After months of being First Lady from afar, Barron Trump's school year as ended and so has Melania Trump's excuse to be in a taxpayer-funded separation from her husband.

The First Couple looked elated as they trudged towards their new reality, with "the cyber" expert Barron wearing a shirt that says exactly that.

While long-distance relationships can be tough on many couples, Melania appeared to be preferring the arrangement, seeing as she appears to resent her husband as much as vulnerable populations in America do.

Advertising
♫I want to hold your hand♫
♫I want to hold your hand♫
Giphy

While Melania might shiver at the view of her husband, she is excited about the view from her window.

We're looking forward to the meme-ories!

Together at last.
Together at last.
Giphy
Advertising

4. Kevin Spacey, because critics think he sucked at the Tonys.

Dear Kevin Spacey, what to say to you?
Dear Kevin Spacey, what to say to you?
Giphy

Despite not being one of the—wait for it—usual suspects to host an award show... Kevin Spacey took on hosting duties at the 71st Annual Tony Awards. While a lot of fans were presently surprised to see him sport some solid song and dance chops, critics were not impressed.

"A drinking game in which players took a shot for every outmoded reference and misfiring gag would have resulted in mass stomach pumping," The Guardian declared.

Advertising

The New York Times wrote that the show made use of him "in ways that ranged from torturous (the opening number) to tolerable (he does pretty good Johnny Carson and Bill Clinton impressions)."

Bette Midler to the orchestra/Critics to Kevin Spacey.
Bette Midler to the orchestra/Critics to Kevin Spacey.
Giphy

"Holy cannoli, this guy’s a cutup," The New Yorker said. "In his opening number, Spacey poked fun at his last-resort status, but then used the rest of the broadcast to ham it up shamelessly. It was like being at a workshop of his multi-character solo show: there were uncomfortable jokes about being 'in the closet,' endless references to his movie credits, and even a Bobby Darin song to close out the evening."

Advertising

We cut to Spacey turning to the camera to deliver his witty retort.

The critics need some space in this relationship.
The critics need some space in this relationship.
Giphy

3. Donald Trump Jr., because it sure sounds like he confirmed James Comey's testimony.

"Did I do good, Daddy? Did I do good?"
"Did I do good, Daddy? Did I do good?"
Getty

It was a busy weekend for the Trump family. (Well, for everybody but Donald Trump, who was golfing.) While Melania and Barron moved to the White House, Donald Jr. moved to help bolster an obstruction of justice case against President Trump, albeit accidentally.

Advertising

In FBI Director James Comey's blockbuster testimony before the Senate Intelligence Committee, Comey testified that the president had told him that he "hoped" he'd let the investigation into Michael Flynn go. Trump's lawyer later told CNN in a statement that "the President never, in form or substance, directed or suggested that Mr. Comey stop investigating anyone, including suggesting that that Mr. Comey 'let Flynn go.'"

Well, Junior didn't get the memo about the statement, because on Fox News on Sunday, he said:

When he tells you to do something, guess what? There's no ambiguity in it, there's no, 'Hey, I'm hoping. You and I are friends: 'Hey, I hope this happens, but you've got to do your job.' That's what he told Comey. And for this guy, as a politician, to then go back and write a memo: 'Oh, I felt threatened.' He felt so threatened — but he didn't do anything.

Advertising

To recap:

Trump lawyer: He didn't tell Comey to do anything.

Trump Junior: He told Comey to chill off Flynn, but in a cool, friendly way.

Oopsie!
Oopsie!
Giphy

This might complicate Junior's standing as Donald's non-Ivanka favorite child.

2. This kid who was caught stealing, because he was forced to get a brutal face tattoo.

Way harsh, Tattoo Artist.
Way harsh, Tattoo Artist.
Reddit / YoSoyUnPayaso
Advertising

A 17-year-old thief in Brazil got a free tattoo against his will after he was allegedly caught stealing a bicycle from a one-legged man. Puta que pariu! ("F*cking hell" in Portugese, according to Google)

Now every time the kid looks into the mirror or any reflective surface, he'll be reminded of his crime, with a big, fat "I am a thief and a loser" staring right back at him.

While stealing a bike is bad (and from a one-legged man is a hilarious visual), it kind of seems like a cruel and usual punishment.

Advertising

People feel for the kid, and are crowdfunding money to get him laser tattoo removal. There's nothing like a face tattoo to bring people together.

1. This guy, because his office milk is on lockdown.

Scottish curator Kevin Anthony went viral with a pic of his coworkers' extraordinary measures to protect their milk.

Steel rods and padlocks are the ultimate defense against milk thieves who take "Got milk?" as a challenge. If you're looking to invest in a startup, "milk locks" are the next big thing.

Advertising

He's got the "most annoying coworkers" thing on lock.