5. Tomi Lahren, because she got dragged by an airline.
Tomi Lahren, professional kvetcher about kvetching, took to Twitter to air her grievances with Alaska Airlines, with whom she apparently had a "dysfunctional" experience.
At the age of 24, Lahren's #brand of spewing such lovely vitriol as calling Black Lives Matter the new KKK and being the perkiest of cheerleaders for Trump's Muslim ban has made enemies, including rapper Wale, who started the now-ubiquitous trend of calling her by the wrong name.
When Timmy told her 724,000 Twitter followers about her negative experience with the Alaska Airlines, a dude named Ryan made a typo that sure looks like pulling a Wale.
Twitter immediately erupted in applause, retweeting the response far and wide and pledging to fly Alaskan whenever possible. Intentional or not, people celebrated it as a burn.
Omg. You win the internet today. I'll fly Alaskan airlines from now when possible just for that typo. 😂😂😂— Covfefe (@CovfefeInDaNorf) June 5, 2017
Another Alaskan employee, who apparently knows his memes, tried to walk the response back and swear it was a typo rather than some smooth trollery.
But the people want Ryan back.
Shut up Andre...GIVE US RYAN!— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) June 5, 2017
Ryan has single handedly brought in millions of dollars of new business for @AlaskaAir— Roland Scahill (@rolandscahill) June 5, 2017
Ryan has made this shitacular week a touch better. Never forget Ryan.— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) June 5, 2017
Before today, there is no Saint Ryan. Now we have a reason to canonize a Ryan.— Roland Scahill (@rolandscahill) June 5, 2017
Time shall henceforth be measured as BR (Before Ryan) and AR (After Ryan).
4. Kylie Jenner, because her ex is subtweeting her through song.
Tyga, Kylie Jenner's ex-boyfriend who is apparently also a rapper, dropped a new track touting his "Playboy tenacity." The song has certain section about his ex-girlfriend, whom we all know from overexposure is Kylie.
She a superstar / She got it bad for me / If I hang up, she call right back to me/ You cut her legs off / She crawls right back to me / I call it playboy tenacity.
What does this mean, people? Does Kylie want him back? Does he want Kylie back? Is he projecting his fantasy onto her? Does he have deep abandonment issues? Does he want to evoke Kylie for attention such as this, because nobody really knows who he is otherwise? Hmm?
Tyga's new girlfriend looks suspiciously a lot like Kylie, and with this song ruminating on their relationship, it appears that he ain't over her.
3. Noel Gallagher, because his brother Liam called him a "sad f**k."
Liam Gallagher, Russell Brand before Russell Brand was Russell Brand, blasted his brother and bandmate on Twitter for missing the One Love Manchester concert. The Band of Brothers hails from the city, and were rumored to perform their classic song "Don't Look Back in Anger" together.
That day was gonna be the day that they were gonna throw it back to him, but Noel didn't make it, and Liam did not hide how he felt about his brother skipping out on the event.
It's not about reuniting Oasis, Liam explains. It's about bringing joy after the tragedy.
Instead of playing with his bro, Liam Gallagher joined Coldplay... which frankly is a huge upgrade.
2. This reporter who asked a stupid question, because he got roasted by LeBron James.
LeBron James' Cleveland Cavaliers have lost both games in the NBA Finals so far, which probably doesn't feel good.
In the locker room after the game, a reporter took the opportunity to ask James if they need to win the next one.
Here is the fateful exchange, transcribed by the New York Daily News.
“LeBron, is this a case where you need to defend homecourt at this point?” the reporter asked.
“Well, I mean, are you a smart guy?” LeBron answered.
“I think so.”
“You think so, right? So we don’t defend homecourt, what happens?”
“Yeah, I know. That’s what I’m saying.”
“I’m asking you.”
“Well, yeah, then you guys are looking at getting swept.”
“All right. So, that answers your question.”
An excellent rebound, but Steph Curry could have done it better.
1. The kids who got de-accepted to Harvard because of their memes.
At least ten students have had their Harvard acceptances rescinded after the admissions crew discovered a private Facebook chat dedicated to racist and raunchy memes.
"The Facebook messaging group was at one point titled 'Harvard memes for horny bourgeois teens,'" the Harvard Crimson reports, where the incoming freshmen's marketplace of memes took a "dark turn."
What seems like dreams to blow off steams with memes devolved into an orgy of offensiveness, which someone whistle-blew to Admissions.
Per the Crimson:
In the group, students sent each other memes and other images mocking sexual assault, the Holocaust, and the deaths of children, according to screenshots of the chat obtained by The Crimson. Some of the messages joked that abusing children was sexually arousing, while others had punchlines directed at specific ethnic or racial groups. One called the hypothetical hanging of a Mexican child “piñata time.”
You could be
smart privileged enough to get into Harvard, but the university "reserves the right to withdraw an offer of admission under various conditions including if an admitted student engages in behavior that brings into question his or her honesty, maturity, or moral character."
Let the Winklevii sum up that statement: