5. Barack Obama, because Trump won't let him enjoy his retirement.
Since he handed over the reins of government to Donald Trump, former President Barack Obama has been enjoying some much-needed R&R—chilling on the beach with Richard Branson, signing a $60 million book deal with his wife Michelle, and periodically surfacing in major cities to delight crowds of adoring fans. He's living the dream of every former president, but there's one grinch who is determined to ruin it for him: his successor, Donald Trump.
On Saturday, President Trump unleashed one of his trademark tweetstorms, in which he insulted Arnold Schwarzenegger's run as host of The Apprentice, defended embattled Attorney General Jeff Sessions, and as a throwaway, accused Obama of wire-tapping his home during last year's election.
Notably absent from the accusations was any evidence. Trump wouldn't even say how he learned about the wiretapping—you might think it was from the intelligence agencies who supposedly work for him, but they immediately distanced themselves from this whole sh*tstorm.
FBI Director James "But Her Emails" Comey denied Trump's claims, asking the Justice Department to reject them. In response, the White House demanded a Congressional investigation. But even Congressional Republicans are scared to touch this one.
Meanwhile, Obama's representatives have been emphatically denying the claims. Many are calling on the former president to sue Trump for libel, citing the lack of evidence. But Obama doesn't want to spend his retirement as one of the thousands of people waiting in line to sue Donald Trump. He wants to PARTY.
4. Emma Watson, because people are accusing her boobs of not being feminist.
There aren't many celebrities with more feminist cred than Emma Watson. In the years since her role as Hermione in the Harry Potter series turned her into one of the world's most famous women, she's done everything she can to present herself as a role model for young girls. She's spoken about feminism to the United Nations as a U.N. Women Goodwill Ambassador, started a feminist book club, and turned down plum roles as Disney Princesses because they weren't empowered enough.
But even Watson isn't immune to the relentless scrutiny of internet shamers. Now, they're attacking her for a recent photoshoot in Vanity Fair, which proved once and for all that this so-called "feminist" actually has BREASTS.
Critics said that the work Watson has done for women was undermined by her decision to pose braless in a magazine, putting her cleavage on display for the world to see. They alleged that if she wants to be taken seriously as a woman, she has to keep those things covered up. But of course, Watson wasn't hearing it. If she wouldn't let the U.N. tell her how to be a feminist, she wasn't about to listen to a bunch of body-shaming trolls. Asked about the controversy, she told Reuters:
It just always reveals to me how many misconceptions and what a misunderstanding there is about what feminism is. Feminism is about giving women choice. Feminism is not a stick with which to beat other women with. It's about freedom, it's about liberation, it's about equality. I really don't know what my tits have to do with it. It's very confusing. I'm confused. Most people are confused. No, I'm just always just quietly stunned.
Let this be a lesson to anyone who wants to publicly judge Emma Watson: if you come at the queen, you best not miss.
3. Rodney Dangerfield's widow, because she says her late husband's mural don't show him no respect.
Legendary comedian Rodney Dangerfield passed away in 2004, but he's still missed by lovers of self-deprecating one-liners everywhere. He's also still missed in Kew Gardens, Queens, where he grew up. Last year, locals thought they would honor him with a mural in the neighborhood. Italian artist Francesca Robicci agreed to paint it for free, using a photo provided by Rodney's widow Joan, who also donated $1,000 toward the project. But once she saw the results, Joan realized she should have spent more.
Here's the mural next to the reference photo.
Let's accept a couple important facts. One: this mural is ugly. Two: Rodney was also ugly. Half of his jokes were about that!
But 13 years after his death, Rodney's fiercely loyal widow is fed up with seeing him be disrespected. She threatened to sue Robicci, who is back in Italy after painting the mural while visiting the U.S. on a 90-day tourist visa. At the very least, Joan wants the image painted over.
But locals are torn. Some say that the mural is a fitting tribute to a man who celebrated his own failings. One told NY1, "He wasn’t the best-looking guy in the world either."
2. A city worker who was caught setting up a sweet secret bedroom at work.
Taking the occasional catnap at work is a victimless crime (unless you're an air traffic controller). Most of us have done it at least once, but some serial nappers abuse the privilege. Like one city employee in Cranston, Rhode Island, who flew too close to the sun on tastefully quilted wings.
What you're looking at is not this man's home bedroom. That photo was taken on the second floor of the Cranston Highway Department building, where an employee who had recently sold his home had moved his entire bedroom set onto city property and made himself at home.
His makeshift den featured a full bed (including a wooden headboard), a coffee maker, slippers, and pajamas. Everything a public highway worker needs to get a good night's rest, totally rent-free.
After the image was posted online by some nap narc, it quickly circulated on social media. And once the public found out about this den of drowsiness, the man responsible was in for a rude awakening. Cranston Director of Administration Robert Coupe told Target 11:
We were made aware of an incident that I believe existed for a very short period of time and it’s not happening anymore. A city employee has been disciplined and has been told it’s unacceptable to be sleeping in the highway garage.
So far, officials have not explained what that "discipline" entailed. It could be anything from unpaid suspension to putting his hand in warm water while he slept.
1. The owner of this 1959 Corvette.
We've seen a lot of parking fouls at Someecards, but this one takes it to a whole other level.
This photo was taken outside a Walmart in Englewood, Florida on Thursday. According to Jason Motz, who uploaded video of the incident to Facebook, a driver was cutting through the lot when she realized she was about to crash into the vintage sports car. She tried to hit the brake, but accidentally hit the gas instead (because Florida). Next thing anyone knew, she had parked on top of the perfectly preserved 58-year-old vehicle.
People who saw the picture were amazed that the Corvette was in such good condition after the collision. Then they saw the cringe-inducing video.
The car's owner, Charlotte County Supervisor of Elections Paul Stamoulis, handled the incident with remarkable good humor. It's not that surprising—anyone who owns a classic car in Florida has to understand the risks involved. He probably has a garage full of these things just in case.