5. Mike Pence, because he got busted for wasting taxpayer money on a dramatic stunt.
Vice President of the United States and professional homophobe Mike Pence made a big splash yesterday when he went to the Indianapolis Colts game for the sole purpose of making a grand exit after their opponents, the San Francisco 49ers, kneeled during the national anthem, as they have been doing all season. SURPRISE!
As Pence's name started trending on Twitter, Donald Trump got jealous that he was no longer the center of attention, and promptly revealed that whole shtick was his idea, okay?! The walkout was long planned in advance, Pence thus taking Air Force Two from Las Vegas to Indiana just to express his discontent at black athletes speaking up against systemic oppression, on the taxpayers' dime.
CNN estimated the cost for this little charade:
According to the Air Force, flying a C-32, the model of plane used for Air Force 2, for one hour costs about $30,000. Pence’s flight from Las Vegas to Indianapolis Saturday took about three hours and 20 minutes, so it cost about $100,000
Pence then flew from Indianapolis to Los Angeles on Sunday, which took about four hours and 45 minutes, costing about $142,500.
The grand total: about $242,500.
Fiscal responsibility, amirite?
This morning, Pence's office tried to explain that instead of wasteful and costly, the Indiana detour actually made perfect sense because geography.
Uh, sure Jan.
What the Veep's office didn't add was that Pence flew right from Indianapolis to Los Angeles, another costly journey which makes no sense, and that going from Las Vegas to D.C. to Los Angeles makes even less sense.
As Tom Ley over at Deadspin notes about Pence: "His boss is the dumbest, oldest person to ever hold the office of president, and all he has to do to come off like the sane and reasonable one is absolutely nothing. And yet he still manages to make a big public showing of a what useless, dunderheaded clown he is at every opportunity."
All he has to do to seem sane in comparison to Trump is to not tweet and to not participate in expensive propagandistic exercises. But alas, when you sell your soul to Trump, he rubs off on you.
4. Harvey Weinstein, because he got fired from his own company for being a f**king creep.
On Friday, the New York Times published a bombshell report on the many, many, many sexual harassment allegations against movie mogul Harvey Weinstein that have took place over decades. After the story was published, even more details emerged, including ones from a reporter who said that Weinstein once masturbated in front of her in a restaurant hallway before ejaculating right there into a potted plant.
The story rocked Hollywood, so much so that Harvey Fierstein needed to issue a statement that he is, in fact, a different person.
On Sunday, the board of directors of The Weinstein Company, the studio that Harvey founded with his brother Bob, officially fired him "in light of new information about misconduct."
All of this played out over the weekend that was the anniversary of Donald Trump's "Grab Them By The Pussy" tape, a fun reminder to women about how widespread predatory behavior is among powerful men, and how few of them actually face consequences.
His firing officially puts millionaire Harvey Weinstein in another 1% group—the 1% of dudes who actually get punished for sexual harassment.
3. The women who couldn't fly home after their plastic surgery trip because they looked nothing like their passport photos.
Everyone loves a girls trip! Whether it's spent drinking in Miami, or drinking in New Orleans, or drinking in Las Vegas, there's nothing like a getaway with girlfriends.
A group of friends from China just might having to make their vacation permanent...and least until the swelling dies down.
A picture going viral on Chinese language social media page 'The Beijing Things Beijingers Don't Know," shows three women at a South Korean airport, saying that they have been prevented from boarding a flight home until they could prove their identities despite their new faces.
Kotaku reported in 2014 that trips to South Korea for plastic surgery are so common, hospitals there have begun issuing "plastic surgery certificates" to help patients trying to clear customs.
If you're looking to get a new face, see if you can find a surgeon domestically so you won't have an identity crisis.
2. Everyone at Safelite AutoGlass™, because they're offended SNL portrayed them as creepy stalkers.
This week's Saturday Night Live will forever be known as The One Where Gal Gadot Kissed Kate McKinnon, but there also were other sketches, including one where a Safelite windshield repair man kept slamming a minivan in hopes of hooking up with a 17-year old.
Safelite was understandably upset, and told SNL the sketch was hashtag not cool.
They were grateful for their fans' support during this trying time.
Personally, I hadn't heard of Safelite AutoGlass™ until the sketch, so I guess there's no such thing as bad publicity.
1. The New Zealand police, because they suck at memes.
The New Zealand police tried to be cool with the kids by posting a meme on Twitter, and um, it was like a car wreck.
Yup, the cops thought it wold be a fun idea to post a Michael Scott/fatal accident mashup, and promptly accused of "making light" of tragedy with their addition of an Office GIF. The tweet was swiftly deleted, and they apologized, but, ya know, screenshots are forever.
The whole incident can best be described by THIS Office GIF.
Hey Kiwi cops: leave the memes to us professionals.