5. Robert Mueller, because he's taking the Russia probe to the next level.
Yesterday, it was reported that special counsel ex machina Robert "Bob" Mueller III has impaneled a grand jury in Washington, D.C. for the investigation into Russian interference in the election. That means that he can now subpoena all sorts of documents from the Trump crew—and if it's what you say I love it, especially later in the summer.
This drastically raises the stakes for the President Donald Trump and his team, who, for the first time in their lives, just might face consequences for lying, A.K.A. be charged with perjury.
A grand jury also means that the special counsel's office has sufficient evidence that a crime was committed to launch a criminal investigation. In fact, it probably has even more evidence than the stuff that little Donny Jr. straight-up tweeted out.
Also part of the magic of Mueller is that he's gotten Senate Republicans to suddenly care about protecting American institutions, with bipartisan legislation being pitched to protect his job from the wrath of Trump.
4. Former Mexican president Vicente Fox Quesada, because he dropped the f*ckin' F-bomb on live TV.
The f*ckin' former president of Mexico is not afraid to match Trump's bombast and catchphrase skills when it comes to the issue of the #FuckenWall. Fox appeared on CNN this morning and got heated talking about Trump's proposed billion dollar ineffectual monument to anti-Mexican racism, A.K.A. the wall. Fox wasn't afraid to swear and swear he did.
Fox's name promptly started trending as people were psyched to hear a politician tell it like it is (even though that's what got us into this mess in the first place).
3. Sheryl Crow, because she's not dead.
The "Soak Up the Sun" star lives to sing about not being dead.
After her ex Kid Rock freaked us all out by threatening to run for Senate, a Rocker wished Crow was alive to see it.
Sheryl Crow was inspired to turn that hilarious tweet into an anthem of the #Resistance.
Now let's sing along:
2. The courtroom sketch artist trolling Martin Shkreli.
Pharma Bro and Wu Tang Clan superfan Martin Shkreli is currently on trial for fraud. While the jury must be having a good time deliberating whether this repugnant price gouger's deals had "fraudulent intent," it's the court's sketch artist who's having the time of their life.
This #brave cartoonist isn't afraid to editorialize for the records of history.
Here's hoping Shkreli can afford the medicine for the burns.
1. This dad who celebrates good puppers.
Just some much-needed wholesome cuteness.