5. Mark Zuckerberg, because the college dropout finally accomplished something.
The Zuck made it back to the campus where he ripped off the Winklevii and started Facebook to spite Rooney Mara, according to The Social Network. Your Facebook friend who you don't actually know went back to school to deliver the commencement address, and milked it just like the Facebook friends you've actually met.
We get it. Harvard.
Did you go to Harvard?
In case you forgot, Mark Zuckerberg went to Harvard.
Despite Jesse Eisenberg's portrayal of him as a socially inept a-hole, the honorary "Dr. Mark Zuckerberg" actually gave a very lovely speech, calling on graduates to embrace globalism and a personal sense of purpose. While he insists that he's not running for president, his speech suggests otherwise.
Nonetheless, mazel tov!
4. French president Emmanuel Macron, who beat Donald Trump not once, but twice.
The newly elected President of France is as savage as he is handsome. In addition to crushing Donald Trump's tiny hand in a handshake battle, after a long walk down the red (well, blue) carpet, Macron swerved him at the last second to greet the leader of the free world, Angela Merkel.
Watch every second. Macron leads Trump on, walking in his general direction, and then makes a sharp turn towards Merkel, greeting her with open arms.
To exact his revenge, Trump nearly tore Macron's arm off.
It's one thing to pull the move at the NATO Summit, but another for Macron to post it for posterity and for the entire world to see.
The French: They are sauvage.
3. The student who got extra credit for drawing a meme on her math test.
Maeve Lindell, a high school sophomore in Texas, scored an extra seven points for an on point rendering of the latest Spongebob meme, Mocking Spongebob. Frustrated with exponential equations because who won't be (BeCaUsE wHo WoUlDn'T bE?), Lindell drew up a Spongebob to mock the question and it actually boosted her grade!
So, kids, the most important equation is as follows:
Math test + memes = extra credit.
2. Hot Felon, because he's partying it up in France with Nicki Minaj.
Jeremy Meeks, the artist formerly known as Hot Felon got a modeling contract from his smoldering
headshot mugshot and is now walking the runways and partying in the vicinity of celebrities.
The very gorgeous man was seen hanging out with Nicki Minaj in Cannes. The journey from felon to hanging out with celebrities in Cannes should be a movie screened at Cannes.
1. This guy who won at Plinko and reminded the world what joy looks like.
The Price is Right superfan Ryan got to live his dream of appearing on the game show and set a new record for both Plinko winnings and reactions. Ryan promptly loses his mind and you can't help but match his enthusiasm. What a damn delight.