5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - April 29, 2015

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - April 29, 2015
Advertising
5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - April 29, 2015

1. Zero Baltimore Baseball Fans Will Have To Watch The Orioles Lose Tonight

Today, the Baltimore Orioles are playing the Chicago White Sox in a completely empty stadium, after the decision was made by ball club officials that the game would be "closed to the public" in light of recent protests and riots throughout the city. "It's unprecedented. We've had low attendance figures in history, but never have fans been kept away intentionally, and never was the attendance at a baseball game zero," Official Baseball Historian John Thorn explained in an interview with Mashable.


Advertising


2. Unmanned, Out-Of-Control Russian Spacecraft Screeching Out Of Sky Right Toward You

An unmanned Russian spacecraft, en route to the International Space Station, has malfunctioned and gone out of control. It is currently orbiting the Earth, but should be plunging down, right onto your home, within a week. Here's the obligatory dashcam footage:


Advertising


3. Hulu Wins Right To Air Two-Decade-Old Sitcom We've All Seen Countless Times For Only About $180 Million

Hulu has struck a deal with Sony Pictures TV for exclusive rights to stream the iconic sitcom Seinfeld to a population that has seen every one of the 180 episodes at least seven times. The terms of the deal are not clear, but it appears that Hulu is paying somewhere between $700,000 and $1 million per episode. Finally, those Seinfeld folks are gonna see a little return on their investment.


4. Bernie Sanders To Announce Well-Meaning But Hopeless Presidential Campaign

Bernie Sanders will be announcing his plan to run against Hillary Clinton for the Democratic presidential nomination on a platform built around his plan to rebuild the middle class and take power away from corporations. In other words, he has no intention of actually winning.

Advertising


5. Danica Patrick And GoDaddy Breaking Up After Lovely Nine-Year Relationship

Race car driver Danica Patrick is losing her primary sponsor next year, after the Internet domain registrar and web hosting company GoDaddy announced plans to cut ties with NASCAR. In a tweet, Patrick said, "Everything evolves and changes in life, I'm excited for what's to come!" If she likes, I'd be happy to put her in touch with company that hosts my personal website. If somebody knows her, please tell her to get in touch.


Advertising
Advertising