5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - August 6, 2014

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - August 6, 2014
Advertising
//cdn.someecards.com/someecards/filestorage/PZukxe9NJN5-things-0806.jpg

1. Hillary Clinton Makes Surprise Visit To Colbert Report To Not Talk About How She's Running For President In 2016

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton—whom everybody knows is running for president in 2016—made a surprise appearance on The Colbert Report last night to promote her new book Hard Choices and talk about a bunch of things unrelated to running for president, leading everybody to speculate on whether or not she's running for president, even though they all know she is.

Advertising


2. Now That Women Are Invading The Ghostbusting And Running For President Industries, We Might As Well Have A Female Assistant Coach In The NBA

The San Antonio Spurs basketball team somehow, in the year 2014, became the first NBA organization to consider the possibility that a woman might be acceptable for the purpose of coaching. WNBA all-star Becky Hammon has been hired as an assistant coach for the team. Hopefully, over the course of 16 years in basketball, she learned a few things about the game.

Advertising


3. CBS May Have Found A Kind-Of-Famous English Dude To Replace Kind-Of-Famous Scottish Dude Craig Ferguson On 'The Late Late Show'

CBS has unofficially announced that it has found the fresh white, male face it's been looking for to replace Craig Ferguson as the host of The Late Late Show. British comedian James Corden—whom you may know from his work on such cultural phenomenons as Gavin & Stacey and One Man, Two Guvnors—has reportedly been chosen over literally every single woman and black person on the planet.

Advertising


4. Novelist Ayelet Waldman Becomes 1 Millionth Person To Call The Kardashians "Vile Scumbag Pigs"

Novelist Ayelet Waldman is bravely bucking the cultural stream and daring to criticize Kim Kardashian and her family members, calling them "vile scumbag pigs," after the Kim Kardashian: Hollywood apparently tricked her 11-year-old son into spending $120 and making him cry. 

Advertising


5. Ricky Gervais To Take Break From Arguing About Atheism On Twitter Long Enough To Make Movie With His Character From 'The Office'

Ricky Gervais is bringing his David Brent character from the original BBC version of The Office to movie screens, with a faux-documentary called Life on the Road, in which the former office manager attempts to become a rock star. It is currently unknown how this film will relate to the overall subject of atheist activism.

Advertising


(by Dennis DiClaudio)

Advertising