1. Darren Wilson Is Resigning Without Compensation — Will Have To Survive On Whatever Book Deal And Fox News Job He Ends Up With

Darren Wilson has announced that he is resigning from the Ferguson, Missouri police force due to "credible threats" against himself and the department. City officials say that Wilson will not be eligible for a severance package or any similar benefits due to the short time—three years—he spent on the force. Instead, he will simply have to support himself on the millions of dollars he makes off of his newfound celebrity, at least until he starts drawing a government paycheck after he ultimately gets elected to Congress.