5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - December 2, 2013

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - December 2, 2013
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5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - December 2, 2013


1. Amazon Developing Flying Robots That Will Most Likely Be Used For Delivering Purchases And Not Fiery Death

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos announced last night on CBS's 60 Minutes that his company is in the process of developing a global fleet of flying drones that will deliver website purchases to customers within 30 minutes. Bezos made no mention of the number of AGM-114 Hellfire missiles with which each robotic aircraft would be outfitted.


2. Americans Don't Trust Their No Good Shifty Neighbors Anymore

According to a new poll from the Associated Press, two-thirds of Americans do not trust three-thirds of Americans. You've got to wonder what's going on with that other one-third? What are they up to with their creepy trusting ways? We don't like it one bit.

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3. Pizza Hut Wants To Hire Local Hero Who Was Fired For Refusing To Work At Pizza Hut On Thanksgiving

Pizza Hut has decided that it likes the cut of the one Indiana location manger's jib, after he was fired for refusing to work on Thanksgiving. The company has decided that it would like to re-hire him, but he is currently too busy being a hero to the working people to decide if he wants his old job back. "All my friends are telling me how cool it is and how proud they are. ‘You’re my hero’ and stuff you don’t expect to hear. No, I’m just some guy who told his boss ‘No’ and got burned. "

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4. Guy Throws His Last $1K To Holiday Shopping Crowd, Gets Ticket He Suddenly Can't Afford

A 29-year-old Minnesota man was issued a ticket for creating a disturbance after he threw his last $1,000 in $1 bills onto a crowd of shoppers at the Mall of America over the weekend. "I thought I would just spread some holiday cheer. Pay it forward," Serge Vorobyov said.

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5. Rob Ford Commandeers Bills Fan's Seat So As To Have A Place In Which To Gorge Himself With Chicken Wings

When musician Matt Mays returned to his seat at the Falcons-Bills game in Toronto yesterday, he discovered the city's disgraced mayor occupying it, while simultaneously shoving chicken wings into his face. Being rightfully concerned about disturbing the unpredictable mayor while eating, Mays took to Twitter to share his problem with the world.

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