5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - February 25, 2015

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - February 25, 2015
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1. Rahm Emanuel Kindly Gives Angry Chicagoans An Opportunity To Vote Against Him Once Again

By failing to amass more than 50 percent of the vote in Chicago's mayoral election yesterday, Rahm Emanuel became the city's first sitting mayor to be forced into a runoff election. This means Emanuel will likely be pressured in acknowledging the existence and personhood of his runoff opponent Jesus "Chuy" Garcia. Worse yet, he will probably have to take the wants of voters into consideration.

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2. Keith Olbermann Managed To Hold Down Job For Stunning 19 Months

Believe it or not, it actually took ESPN nearly two whole years to suspend Keith Olbermann from his job. The sports network was forced into action after the anchor—who was previously let go from MSNBC and Current TV—got into a Twitter war with some Penn State students who were raising money for charity simply because he was in the mood to be a dick to some kids.


3. More People Line Up To Get Threatened By Bill O'Reilly

Several more people came forward to make claims that Bill O'Reilly had lied about anecdotes from his past. The Fox News host—who recently threatened retaliation against a writer for the New York Times if he didn't like a story she was about to publish about him—wrote in a memoir that he heard the shotgun suicide of a friend of Lee Harvey Oswald in Palm Beach, Florida back in 1977. Meanwhile, two former colleagues who apparently don't know when to keep their mouths shut pointed out that he was with them in Dallas, Texas as the time.

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4. Reddit Decides It Doesn't Want To Be The Go-To Site For Illegal Nudes Anymore

The powers that be on the social news service Reddit issued new digital privacy guidelines yesterday, making it officially frowned upon to post stolen nude photos of living, breathing human beings with emotions on the site so that millions of strangers can masturbate to them. So much for net neutrality, huh?


5. Pee-Wee Herman Shall Bestow Upon Mankind Another Movie

Actor Paul Reubens and producer Judd Apatow will be teaming up to create a new Pee-wee Herman film that will premiere on the streaming Internet service Netflix. “As a fan of Pee-wee Herman since he first appeared on The Dating Game, I am thrilled to have the opportunity to work with the brilliant Paul Reubens on this film. It is a dream come true," Apatow said in a statement about the project.

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