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1. Beck Outs Self As Unfeeling Automaton After Kanye West Incident

After being publicly humiliated on live television for the crime of not being the artist Kanye West wanted to win the Grammy for Album of the Year, Beck responded to the slight in a way that no actual human being would: unsettling niceness. "I was just so excited he was coming up. He deserves to be on stage as much as anybody," Beck said to Us Weekly in response to questions about West approaching him onstage and later saying he should give the award to Beyoncé. "You can't please everybody, man. I still love him and think he's genius. I aspire to do what he does." It is currently unknown whether Beck is an alien, a robot or just a simple lobotomy patient.