1. White House Admits That The Paris Anti-Terror March Maybe Wasn't The Best Opportunity For Playing Coy

The White House today responded to criticism from both sides of the political aisle and admitted that it made a grievous error in attempting to appear cool and aloof by blowing off the anti-terrorist march that occurred in Paris Sunday and only sending the US ambassador to France, whom everybody already knows is a nerd. "It's fair to say we should have sent someone with a higher profile," White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest said.