5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - January 4, 2014

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - January 4, 2014
Advertising
//cdn.someecards.com/someecards/images/legacy/happyplace.com/52c8435f57bd3.jpg

1. Jenny McCarthy's Son May Or May Not Have Autism, But Thanks To Her Anti-Vaccination Movement Thousands Of Kids Really Do Get Sick Every Year

A newly-resurfaced article from February of 2010 has re-ignited the controversy about whether or not Jenny McCarthy's son is autistic (the answer is probably maybe yes?) and, if so, if it was brought on by vaccinations given to him as an infant (definitely definitely no!). One thing we know for sure is that the anti-vaccination movement—for which Jenny McCarthy has made herself the public face—is responsible for the highest number of measel cases in decades and the worst whooping cough epidemic in 2/3rds of a century.


2. Entire Midwest To Essentially Be Frozen Into One Solid Block Of Ice This Week

Temperatures are expected to drop to double-digit negative numbers this week through the Midwest. And, though the onslaught of Arctic air could lead to negative-20 degree weather in places like Chicago, with the wind chill it will likely wind up feeling more like negative-50. This could force many Midwest residents to wear both a winter coat and a hat while drinking on their front porches.

Advertising


3. Cameron Diaz Demands More Pubic Hair

In a section of her new book that she supposedly wrote titled "In Praise of Pubes," actress Cameron Diaz urges women everywhere to let their public hair grow wild and free, because apparently a thick and brambly bush is pleasing to Cameron Diaz.

Advertising


4. Congress Still Divided On Whether Or Not To Let Americans Starve To Death

While an estimated 72,000 U.S. citizens continue to lose unemployment benefits every week, Congress is still on the fence about whether they should extend benefits to help those struggling in the bad economy or simply let them starve and freeze until they stop complaining and their dessicated bodies get blown away with the wind.

Advertising


5. Crazy Lady Goes On Angry Rampage Through Crowd At Alabama-Oklahoma Game

A wild Crimson Tide fan—clearly incensed by her team's poor showing at Thursday night's Sugar Bowl game between Alabama and Oklahoma—hurled herself into a crowd of Sooner fans and began wildly punching and kicking like a maniac until she was eventually subdued and released back into the wild of the parking lot. 

Advertising

Advertising