1. Todd Akin Clarifies His 'Legitimate Rape' Comment, Entire World Unanimously Forgives Him

Hey, everyone! We can all relax with the hating on former Rep. Todd Akin thing. Turns out he misspoke when he said that "If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down." What he meant to say was "legitimate case of rape." Oh! Well, that's much less silly and delusional. The addition of those two words make all the difference.