5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - July 19, 2014

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - July 19, 2014
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1. Weird Al's New Album Skyrockets To #1, As Entire World Simultaneously Forgets He's A Huge Dork

Bouyed in part by an eight-day, eight-video roll-out promo stunt, Weird Al Yankovic's new album Mandatory Fun seems on track to debut at No. 1 on Billboard's 200 Chart, a first for the accordion-playing parodist who first received exposure through Dr. Demento's absurdist radio program in the mid-70s. This means that Weird Al's novelty songs are now more popular and cooler than the pop hits they're making fun of.


2. U.S. Supreme Court Tells Gay Utahns To Stop Being Married For A While

More than a thousand same-sex marriages are currently in limbo, after the U.S. Supreme Court put a halt on their benefits until a state appeal to the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals is completed.

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3. Welcome Your New Insect Overlords! — Research Ants Pretty Much Rule The Earth

According to some entomologists, ants are among a few select species who could potentially be considered the true rulers of this planet. Not only do they outnumber people by orders of magnitude, but their combined biomass massively exceeds that of the human race. On top of that, the only thing stopping them from swarming over and devouring us is a current lack of desire to do so.

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4. New Olympic Sports Channel Promises Year-Round Access To Synchronized Swimming Competitions

Olympic officials are apparently backing a proposal for a year-round sports channel to focus exclusively on sports like high diving, javelin throwing and long distance running, in an effort to connect with younger viewers who have yet to figure out how much less interesting those sporting events are when they happen more than once every 48 months.

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5.  We Got The Results Of The Test Back — We Definitely Have A New Tommy Wiseau TV Show Coming Soon

Tommy Wiseau—mysterious and delightfully delusional creator of the cult film The Room—seems like he's finally set to release The Neighbors, a television series he's been teasing for the past ten years. And if this recently released underwear and football-filled scene is any indication of what's in store, I think Wiseau will be tearing all our wildest expectations apart:

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(via TheNeighborsSitcom.com)


(by Dennis DiClaudio)

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