1. Jon Stewart Hoping To Buy Run-Down Fixer-Upper Cable News Network 

Apparently inspired by Rupert Murdoch's recent attempt to purchase media conglomerate Time Warner, Jon Stewart announced on last night's episode of the Daily Show that he would be initiating a Kickstarter campaign to raise the $10 billion necessary to buy cable news network CNN. However, since his campaign does not currently appear on the actual crowd-funding site, it would appear as though he's not fully serious. Which makes sense, as he knows as well as anyone that he'd never be able to get that Wolf Blitzer smell out of the carpets.