5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - July 30, 2014

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - July 30, 2014
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5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - July 30, 2014

1. Humanity Taunts Sleeping Beast Of Nature With Creation Of Malaria Vaccine

Infectious disease researchers think they might have struck upon a halfway decent vaccine for malaria. According to their data, it appears to have a 75 percent efficacy and provides protection from the virus for 18 months after the injection. At time of press, Nature has not yet responded with a new strain that makes your head explode upon infection. 


2. United Kingdom To Allow Robot Cars To Drive On The Wrong Side Of The Road

The British government will reportedly soon be allowing driverless vehicles to join human motorists in traveling about the country on the left side of the road. During this initial testing phase, a percentage of these cars will have humans on hand just in case the computer-pilot suddenly comes to its senses and attempts to drive on the correct side of the road.

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3. Stephen Colbert Buys Sarah Palin's URL So She Doesn't Have To

As the people behind Sarah Palin's new online TV channel, SarahPalinChannel.com, have neglected to purchase the very similar url TheSarahPalinChannel.com, Stephen Colbert stepped in and made the purchase for her and has begun promoting it as "The only Sarah Palin Channel on the internet with a definite article in the address!"

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4. MSNBC Finally Outpaces CNN As Least Successful Cable News Network

It may have seemed unlikely, at times even impossible, but liberal-slanted cable news network MSNBC has finally realized its goal of becoming an even-less-popular alternative to the conservative Fox News than CNN. Polling shows that the network has dropped 33 percent among day-time adult viewers aged 25-54. On top of that, it currently has only five viewers over the age of 65, according to research I just made up, but which is still almost certainly true.

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5. The Not-Naked One From 'Girls' To Play Beloved Pansexual Children's Book Character On Live TV

NBC has announced that it will follow up last year's massively successful live performance of the musical The Sound of Music with a production of Peter Pan this December. Girls co-star Allison Williams will lead the cast as the gender-bending, fairy-befriending little boy who flits around and fights a creepy old man with a prosthetic metal hand in this timeless family classic.

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(by Dennis DiClaudio)

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