1. Humanity Taunts Sleeping Beast Of Nature With Creation Of Malaria Vaccine
Infectious disease researchers think they might have struck upon a halfway decent vaccine for malaria. According to their data, it appears to have a 75 percent efficacy and provides protection from the virus for 18 months after the injection. At time of press, Nature has not yet responded with a new strain that makes your head explode upon infection.
If I ever get malaria I hope it's from something fun like a monkey bite and not just some ordinary boring mosquito or CDC drone strike.— Hank Thompson (@Hank_Thompson) February 26, 2013
2. United Kingdom To Allow Robot Cars To Drive On The Wrong Side Of The Road
The British government will reportedly soon be allowing driverless vehicles to join human motorists in traveling about the country on the left side of the road. During this initial testing phase, a percentage of these cars will have humans on hand just in case the computer-pilot suddenly comes to its senses and attempts to drive on the correct side of the road.
Can’t wait until we all have driverless cars to take us to our mindless jobs where we do soulless work!— braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) May 29, 2014
3. Stephen Colbert Buys Sarah Palin's URL So She Doesn't Have To
As the people behind Sarah Palin's new online TV channel, SarahPalinChannel.com, have neglected to purchase the very similar url TheSarahPalinChannel.com, Stephen Colbert stepped in and made the purchase for her and has begun promoting it as "The only Sarah Palin Channel on the internet with a definite article in the address!"
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. That and "subscribes to Sarah Palin TV."— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) July 28, 2014
4. MSNBC Finally Outpaces CNN As Least Successful Cable News Network
It may have seemed unlikely, at times even impossible, but liberal-slanted cable news network MSNBC has finally realized its goal of becoming an even-less-popular alternative to the conservative Fox News than CNN. Polling shows that the network has dropped 33 percent among day-time adult viewers aged 25-54. On top of that, it currently has only five viewers over the age of 65, according to research I just made up, but which is still almost certainly true.
Modern Political Discourse - a TV blaring Fox News pointed at a TV blaring MSNBC in a house where no one's paying attention.— Dana Gould (@danagould) June 24, 2014
5. The Not-Naked One From 'Girls' To Play Beloved Pansexual Children's Book Character On Live TV
NBC has announced that it will follow up last year's massively successful live performance of the musical The Sound of Music with a production of Peter Pan this December. Girls co-star Allison Williams will lead the cast as the gender-bending, fairy-befriending little boy who flits around and fights a creepy old man with a prosthetic metal hand in this timeless family classic.
NBC cast Marnie from Girls as Peter Pan. Please let me know when Allison Williams is allowed to play a character that grows up.— Aaron Fullerton (@AaronFullerton) July 30, 2014
(by Dennis DiClaudio)